This epic Twitter thread about an office lunch theft is Ross Geller’s nightmare come to life

If you’re like us, you understand the appeal of some really phenomenal storytelling. There’s nothing quite like the feeling you get when you’re sucked into the drama, and you just know, “This is epic.” The only thing that makes it better? When it’s *actually* real-life. Thankfully, a recent Twitter thread courtesy of Zak Toscani is here to rescue you from boredom in one legendary story that is (almost) too good to be true.

A comedian and writer in Los Angeles, Toscani tweeted what will clearly go down as one of the most thrilling sagas of work-related drama in Twitter history. We loved every second of it, and we can’t imagine anyone who wouldn’t — except for Ross Geller from Friends, that is. (Remember the “The Moist Maker”?)

“Co-worker got his lunch stolen and they’ve agreed to let him watch the security camera tape,” Toscani tweeted to start the saga. “This is the most excited I’ve ever been at any job ever. Ever.”

Anyone who’s worked in an office knows that lunches are freakin’ sacred, and Twitter agrees. Certain boundaries should just never be crossed. 

After Toscani’s colleague returned from watching the security tape, the plot thickened.

As it turns out, the person whose lunch was stolen sits across from him. Meanwhile, the perpetrator of the crime sits next to him — and was mysteriously absent during the time of the investigation.

However, that didn’t keep Zak Toscani from tweeting her return to the office in what is certainly one of the most epic office stories ever recorded.

No spoilers on what happens next, but you’re definitely going to want to check out the entire thread. It’s basically a true-crime podcast waiting to happen. And in case you’re wondering, no, it’s not a hoax

So, while the story might be over for now, we’re still following Zak Toscani for any lol-worthy future updates. We’ll keep you posted!

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