WTF are Vampire Breast Lifts?

This year’s Oscars swag bag is filled with a plethora of luxuries. According to The Hollywood Reporter, nominees will be receiving the $200,000 gifts stocked with personalized chocolates, a year’s worth of Audi rentals, a Japan-based walking tour, a free trip to Israel, designer workout duds, and even… Vampire Breast Lifts?

If you’re a follower of uncommon beauty trends (or all things vampire-related), you may recall that vampire facials have been trendy the past few years. Maybe you even saw Kim K receive one on Keeping Up with the Kardashians, which involved blood being drawn from her arm, put into a centrifuge to obtain platelet-rich plasma, and re-injected into her face to essentially treat wrinkles and promote firmness.

Now, it turns out that the same process is being applied to the cleavage area.

According to Cosmopolitan, the treatment costs around $1,800. It was created by the same man who invented the Vampire Facelift, cosmetic dermatologist Charles Runels. He claims that the Vampire Breast Lift can fix inverted nipples, abolish stretch marks, lift sagging breasts, make nipples perkier, and even plump up one’s cleavage. Even so, this procedure is not a substitute for implants, but it can help to improve implants that have caused inverted nipples, stretch marks, and rippling.

“I thought why can’t you do the same thing with the breasts that you’re oing with the face? I just wanted to take the same ideas that I had for the face, and how to look at the breasts, and do the same thing that a good bra would do,” Runels told Cosmetic Surgery Today.

“Add a little more cleavage in the center, add a little more volume in the upper part of the breast, not really thinking about size. And I call it the Vampire Breast Lift™ for the same reason [as the Vampire Face Lift]; I’m getting growth hormones out of the blood like the mythological figure of the vampire which uses blood for a more youthful appearance.”

Vampire Breast Lifts take about 15 minutes to complete, don’t require any downtime, and the results last a year or more (but can be permanent for some women). Also, it does take several days for patients to notice any difference. As for pain, the treatment allegedly causes a stinging sensation that’s comparable to any other cosmetic procedure (except it’s on your boobs).

What do you think about the Vampire Breast Lift? Are you on board? Or, would you rather grab some garlic and repel that sucker like no tomorrow?