Written in the Stars: March 2013 Horoscopes

March is here! The month we say goodbye to winter and helllllllllllllllllo, gorgeous! to spring! Jump up and down, drink a milkshake, go for a run in the kind-of-rainy-sun, but also heed this wise advice. 

They say that you are soft. You are understanding, and compassionate. You are humble and sensitive; timid. Did you know that the Pisces is said to live in two worlds–one fin in each–at all times? That you are the only sign capable of dipping your fins in both Heaven and Hell simultaneously? That you can call on any of the traits of any of the other signs, when they are all so stuck with their own traits? You are admirable, Pisces, that is true. You can relate to any and everyone–but what about you? What do you want? What do you need? This month–and happy birthday!–you must hone in on what you need, using your own characteristics. And then go ahead on focus on everyone else.

Aries, you are a ram, quite literally. Rams, both the actual animal and the metaphorical zodiac one, lead with their heads. So you think before you act, but you also jump into the puddle headfirst, instead of using your feet to test the muddy waters. You find yourself drowning relatively often because of that silliness, don’t you? With an ego like yours, how could you possibly lead with anything other than your big ol’ head? Well, what if you just tried? What if you led with your feet, or your right bicep? Or–say–your heart? You do have one, you know, and I would argue that it is almost as large as your head.

Famous Rams: Emma Watson, Kristen Stewart, Ashley Judd, Conan O’Brien, Jennifer Garner, Lady GaGa, Elton John, Robert Downey Jr., Mariah Carey.

Perhaps the most interesting, of all of the vastly interesting things about you, dear Bull of ours, is your spontaneous tendency to goof-off. Tauruses are strictly business, big plans, five-year-down-the-line-this-is-where-I-will-be types. And I do not doubt you. But let me remind you: when you say you want do something, or go somewhere, or be someone, it does not always have to remain true. You are allowed to dream multiple dreams, you are allowed to change your mind, you can fall in love by accident, completely unexpectedly. Give yourself a break, and let yourself goof off, and let yourself not know everything. Whatever you do, you will be gold.

Going to a party, for me, is as much a learning experience as, you know, sitting in a lecture.
A very beautiful and intelligent and talented Gemini once said this. Her name is Natalie Portman, and no, just because she is famous does not mean you need to take note of the quote, but because it describes you perfectly, you should. Have you ever noticed that you have the ability to find almost anything vastly interesting? Do you know what a gift that truly is? There is something that has been on your mind as of late–an adventure you have not allowed yourself to take, a person you have been dying to talk to, maybe even a book sitting on your shelf that you have yet to read. This is the time, Gemini my love. This is the time to let all that fascinates you fascinate you. The world is your oyster–no, the world is truly your oyster. Go out and fascinate yourself.

There are some days that I can perfectly express how I am feeling about every single thing in my life. Work? Tough, but satisfying. My friends? Perfectly understanding creatures. My family? Difficult and stubborn, and sweet and hilarious. My love life? Ehh, who needs one? Independence is where it’s at! And there are days–sometimes very, very long days–in which I cannot express an eloquent thought about anything. In the life of a Cancer, you can have these moments of clarity, and these moments of muddled thought all in one day–maybe all in one hour, sometimes. Your emotional capability is vast, far deeper than any other sign. You can, and usually do balance everything all at once, but when the bottom plate slips and the stack crashes down, it is more than acceptable to move on to the next thing. The weight of the world is on your shoulders, but you can shove it off and skip away when you need a break. Bury your head in the sand and leave it for tomorrow.

A strong and delightful glass of champagne can double up as a long back massage: relaxation comes in all forms. When you sip it, clinking your glass to a friend’s, reminiscing about old times, the effect can be therapeutic. But when you throw it down your throat without thinking about the consequences, you know trouble will arise. There is something–probably multiple things, in all honesty–in your life right now that can be handled like a glass of champagne. It is real hard for a Leo to be patient and take anything slow, even that glass of bubbly, but remember: some things take time. Most things take time, in fact. Breathe deep, sip the wine of life. Chugging will get you a stomachache, and not much else.

There are few things in life that you don’t understand, Virgo, but when you come across one, you immediately discover all there is to know about it. You are curious by nature, and you are smarter because of it. However, sometimes searching is not the best answer. Sometimes, unburying all of life’s mysteries–are attempting to–is not the best approach. There are times in which you are too busy discovering the answer to every question, and you miss the answer: it could be directly in front of you. Stop looking for everything, and accept something instead.

When is the last time you closed the door and listened to your own thoughts? When is the last time you finished a book? When is the last time you took a long walk, or run, or swim and had your phone no where near you? When is the last time you ignored a demanding phone call from your best friend who needs your attention all of the time? When is the last time you hired a babysitter and went to a movie alone? When is the last time you answered “how are you” with more than a “fine, how are you?” I would probably place my money on…never. Libra, you balance beam of a beautiful being–take a day to yourself. Hell, take the month of March to yourself. No one will accuse you of neglect. Think of yourself, for once.

There are plenty of variations on the sentiment: I wish you could see what I see when I look at you. Without knowing the entire history of that sentiment, I would guess that a Scorpio first ever had the passing thought. There is something about a Scorpio, something that allows him or her to view the world in a more introspective light. Lucky Scorpios. A famous Scorpio once said, “when you’re happy, you enjoy the music, but when you’re sad, you understand the lyrics.” That Scorpio is a well-known musician, unsurprisingly since Scorpios’ creative bones are far more honed in on than the rest of us up in the stars. What do you understand when you are sad, Scorpio? Is it your lover? Do you see more in them when you are sad? Do you wish you could make that person see what you see? The first step to helping someone understand your point of view is communication. Ahh yes, Scorpio, you have to let us in before we can see what you see.

This year is not going how you planned it, is it, sweet Archer? Well, come on now. You have only lived with yourself your entire life. You aren’t used to the unexpected yet? You are not quite used to making plans just to have them fall through? Listen, nothing is as it seems, and you should accept it here and now. I do not mean this month, I mean right here, and right now. You, of all people, with your huge imagination and refusal of reality, should just realize that planning is not your strong suit. What I do think you should prepare for this month is the way you make everyone else feel. You believe yourself to be a blunt person, but your dreams muddle your thoughts, and your bluntness is hidden in your pipe dreams. Get someone to take you seriously, and don’t be a jerk about it. Journal your dreams, but speak your mind. It will help you in the long run.

Did you know that your main attribute in a relationship is “experience”? All astrologists believe it to be true, that your main attribute in all areas of life–finance, family, leisure, travel–is experience. You Goats sure know your stuff. You know so much “stuff,” in fact, that you tend to be a little caught up in your own head, which can come across as callous. Say it ain’t so! (You’ve been accused of callousness by now, I am sure of it.) You are sure of yourself, my love, but this month, try being sure of someone else, as well.

Life comes in many, many stages, though we are conditioned to view it in only two: we are kids, and we are adults. Sure, there are teenagers, but did our parents not refer to us as “kids” throughout that time? Sure, there is the elderly, but are they not adults in the eyes of the young? But what if you viewed this now of your life as a kind of “second childhood” instead of an “early adulthood,” oh wise Water Bearer? As an Aquarius, you have always been far less childlike than everyone around you, so why not take this month of March, this cold and dreary transitional time, and relive the childhood you refused to take part in before? Oh come on, lighten up: it could be fun.

Featured image via ParadaCreations, Emma Watson image via fanpop.com

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