Written in the Stars: June 2013 Horoscopes

OHMYGODYOUGUYSWILLNEVERBELIEVETHIS! It’s June! That means it is summer! I mean, almost officially summer! I’m holding my breath until the 22nd or whatever, who cares! Throw your inhibitions out the window, it’s summer! Nothing matters! Exclamation point! Let’s read our stars!

Cancer You know when you go for a run, or a jog, or a long walk, and it begins to rain? Like slow drips at first–the kind of rain that is nice to run in–but then the rain begins to pour, like a scene from a Nicholas Sparks’ book turned movie. So what are you gonna do, Moonchild? Do you let your hair get wet and own the moment, or do you turn around and run from the scene, back toward your warm home and reassuring shower.

There is no right answer, though in the spirit of new beginnings (summertime!), I suggest you go against your gut for once.

Famous Crabs: Selena Gomez, Jaden Smith, Ashley Tisdale, Will Ferrell, Tom Hanks!, Khloe Kardashian, and most importantly, OUR GIRL MINDY

Leo Everyone in the astrological world knows that Leos are confident. No one is questioning you with your lion’s mane, your thick skin, and your big heart, but dear Leo, between the two of us (because I am one of you), we both know that for as confident as you can be, you can be just as insecure as the rest of the zodiac. Especially when you are at your most vulnerable, like when you are in lovvvvve. But hey, here’s a thought! Apply your confidence even when you are most insecure, or to put it less cryptic: grab him and kiss him. He wants you to do it. You’re the king of the jungle!

Virgo You are an Earth sign, my lovely, lovely Virgo, which means you shall thrive in the summer season. Give yourself a break this summer. Sip lemonade and read all of the books on your bucket list. Take a vacation, and if you cannot afford the time off of your day job to actually go anywhere, make time for yourself in some other way. Change your desktop picture to a beach and kick your feet up. Summer is not the time to dwell on detail. Save it for a rainy day.

Libra Lil’ Wayne once said, “Devil on my shoulder, the Lord as my witness/so on my Libra scale, I’m weighing sins and forgiveness.” What are you weighing on your Libra scale? Sins and forgivness like your fellow Libra Lil’ Wayne, or something a little less heavy maybe? Work and play? Kids and husband? Friends and new relationship? Whatever you are weighing, it is okay to tip the scales, if you know what I mean. The next lyric is “what goes around comes around like a hula hoop,” and you know what? If you pay more attention to work this month, play hard in July. If you can’t pull away from your new lover, take your buddies out to a great dinner soon. It is okay to favor every once in a while–just be sure to come back around to the rest of your life. Eventually.

Scorpio Did you know that a Scorpio is the “antithesis” of good ol’ Aries? Scorpios are associated with the eighth house, which is Death, while Aries is the first house–Life. Life and Death, though clearly polar opposites, are very closely associated with one another. Though I do not always buy into the whole “opposites attract” theory, I do believe that opposites can learn from one another. This month, dear Scorpion, settle your scathing sarcasm and embrace the silly side of life. Grab your closest Aries pal and skip in the sun.

Sagittarius You always get caught up with the little things, dear Centaur. It is easy for you, with your huge heart and self-sacrificial ways, to get lost in what is truly beneficial to your own life. I would not call you a worrywart necessarily, but I do think it is high time you stopped using every tiny event to excuse your feelings. Don’t blame it on the rain if you don’t want to go on that walk in the park. Don’t blame it on your new boss if you just don’t feel like staying late at work. Don’t blame the outlying factors that really have nothing much to do with you: own your feelings and you will be respected.

Capricorn If the real world worked like a high school yearbook, I have a feeling that you would be voted something like “Person We’ve Known the Longest That We Know the Littlest About.” Is that a thing? Is that a category? Wellllll, in your personal life, I guarantee there are a few people sitting around waiting to get to know you better. Have you heard this advice before? Maybe in horoscopes, or from your mother? It’s because it is true! My dear Capricorn, you are hilarious and everyone knows it. You are smart, and we all see it. But there is more to you. Just share a secret with at least one person this month. Take the steps.

Aquarius Let’s make a summer motto for ourselves here, Aquarians of the world. What shall it be? Shall you be hard-working, or fun-loving? Can you possibly pull off both at the same time? Oh, I know. Do you have a “bucket list” going yet? Well, why not? This month, spend your bits and pieces of free time–even those moments before bed, or with your first cup of coffee–working on things you have always wanted to do. Even the small things like “Watch Casablanca. When your list is complete, start marking stuff off. Your mantra for June, and for the whole summer is: Just Do It. (Thanks Nike!)

Pisces I feel like I am noticing a pattern lately. A lot of the big names in pop music are Pisceans! Justin Biebs, Rihanna, Adam “God’s Gift to Us” Levine, Carrie Underwood, Ke$ha, will.i.am! I mean, jeez you guys. There must be something about the adaptability of a Pisces that matches well with pop music. Makes sense, though, right? You guys can get along with anyone, anytime, anywhere, which means you can also tweak your creativity to match what the people want! And it makes you happy as well, so everything is win / win. To get ahead this month, research your own creative outlet–whether you write, sing, dance, compose–and tweak your style. No one likes stale material.

Aries You have had quite a year, dear Ram. Isn’t it scary to think we are only six months into it? Whether you have had a breakup, or found a new love; whether you have moved or are about to; whether it was a new job, or a whole career shift, a whole lot has happened in your life. Since you can be a bit of a control freak, this is all probably too much for you to handle. So my advice to you? Besides embracing change? Make yourself a stiff cocktail, kick up  your feet and reminisce for a minute. It is not in your nature to get nostalgic, but it can be a healing process. Remind yourself how far you have come, but maybe call an old friend to thank for sharing those past experiences with you. It’ll heal you a bit. Try it out.

Gemini Well Gemini, June is still your month, at least half of it. I hope you are having a fantastic birthday period. If you have already celebrated, do it again. There are two of you, you know! You have not lived it up enough, so I encourage you to do so throughout June, as well. Get a whole bunch of tiaras and feather boas and maybe a sequin dress or something and just go out on the town. You are smart, funny, objective, focused, and gosh darn it, Gemini, you are FUN! So prove it. Rent a hotel in a new town, or dance the night away, or both. Throw all of your worries out the window and own the night.

Featured image via ParadaCreations.

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