Would You Sell Your Underwear?

Would you sell your underwear if you really needed some quick cash?

Disclaimer up front, right here, right now: I DON’T CARE IF YOU DO, I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU DO, IT’S YOUR PERSONAL DECISION, EVERYONE HAS THEIR OWN PATH IN LIFE THAT THEY’RE WALKING DOWN, I’M JUST A GIRL, STANDING IN FRONT OF THE INTERNET, ASKING IT TO LOVE HER. (I am also doing my part to keep Notting Hill alive in these crazy times.)

Someone bought the bra Jennifer Lawrence wore in The Silver Linings Playbook for $3,493. It’s not the same as selling your panties online, granted, but I’m just going to reiterate that someone spent over a thousand dollars on a bra that an actress wore in a movie. The average chick isn’t going to fetch JLaw prices, but you can make more than you’d think.

If you know how to navigate Craigslist in terms of finding the sexy stuff that they tried to get rid of, you’ll see that men (I am presuming all they’re men, I could be wrong) will pay for used undies, stockings, and bras. Undies are the big seller.

One dude offered hundreds of dollars to meet “a hipster girl” at Starbucks, have her go into the bathroom, take off her underwear, and give them to him. I’m still not sure if that one was a joke.

Then, from the sellers, you’ll find posts titled, “My silky panties…well worn used underwear… – $32 (Still on me…)” complete with photo of said underwear on the seller’s butt, although there’s really no way of knowing whose butt it is. They’re on someone’s butt. She offers other a long list of other underthings as well. A veritable buffet! (Yeah, I almost went with “buttfet” but I didn’t. Instead I’m just telling you that I almost did.)

The first thing that comes to mind is that I would be worried that someone could use my DNA to frame me for a crime. I’ve seen too many CSI shows and Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. Is there something wrong with me that that’s my first concern? I do question who is really getting screwed here: the woman who willingly sells her used underwear, or the dude who’s paying $35+ for them. A woman has the right to sell her used underwear but that doesn’t mean that’s it’s the best choice to make.

But if a friend of mine were to tell me that she was doing it, I would say, “Okay. Whatever gets you through the night. It’s all right. It’s all right.” And she would say, “Jesus, do you have to quote the Beatles all the time? I’m trying to have a real conversation with you.” And I would say, “That’s a solo John Lennon song, not a Beatles song.” And she would say, “Whatever, that’s not the point. Did you even hear what I said?” And I would say, “She said, I know what it’s like to be dead.” And she would say, “Goodbye.” And I would say, “You say goodbye, and I say hello.”

Anyway. What are your thoughts on selling or buying used underwear?

Image by Nina Leen and Gordon Parks for LIFE Magazine