Woman Declares Yoga a Harmful and “Demonic” Practice

With Spring’s much welcomed arrival on Thursday, it seems like things are finally coming together for some people in 2014. Kevin Bacon dusted off his Footloose dancing shoes. Emma Stone unleashed her inner Spice Girls fangirl. This guy owned Wheel of Fortune. And Vogue gave Kim Kardashian a happy ending.

How about your week? Well, it’s going to get a little brighter right now because it’s time for another “The Week In WHAT?!“

Not Everyone’s Down With Namaste!

If you think yoga is evil, then it turns out you’re not the only one. A woman from John Brown University published an Op-ed piece in the school’s Threefold Advocate voicing her strong anti-yoga beliefs. She goes as far as saying that while there may be benefits to practicing yoga, “those benefits have hidden, demonic strings attached.” Probably not the same type of evil you had in mind, right? Be sure check out her entire rant to decide for yourself!

O Oreo, Where Art Thou?

Whew — everyone can finally breathe a sigh of relief because little Oreo is safe! Who’s Oreo, you ask? She’s only the Armstrong Hotel of Fort Collins, Colorado”s favorite resident cat. Oreo, the aptly named black-and-white furball, disappeared from the hotel last weekend. Video footage revealed two men leaving the grounds with her. During a citywide search effort, two guests overheard Oreo’s cries coming from behind an art museum, sprung into action and returned the cat to her home. No word on whether authorities are any closer to finding the cat-burglars, who are surely living up to their profession.

Bottoms Up, Little Bros!

In a world filled with distractions at every turn, teachers are often hard pressed to find creative ways to keep their students engaged. Perhaps that explains why a Michigan teacher decided to let her fifth graders kick back with a few ice cold non-alcoholic brewskis. The incident, in which a student used O’Doul’s to represent ale commonly consumed in the 1700s for a presentation, could lead to a bigger problem for the teacher. Despite the teacher’s approval based on the bottles’ “non-alcoholic” label, it’s apparently a misdemeanor to give kids O’Doul’s or any other “near beer” product in Michigan. However, she could be in the clear as school officials sent a letter to parents informing them of the situation. So far the parents’ response can pretty much be summed up with, “O’Doul’s, eh?”

Is That a Gun In Your Pocket, Or — Wait, Is It?

A Maine man should probably reconsider one of his tattoos after dealing with an unsettling mix-up. Upon waking up to loud noises outside of his home, Michael Smith went to investigate. Smith discovered a group of workers prepping to chop down a few trees on his property. He shooed them away, but unfortunately forgot he was shirtless. As he retreated back into his house, the workers thought they spotted a pistol on Smith and called the police. This led to a standoff featuring an array of state troopers armed with assault riffles. Turns out the workers were mistaken: Smith’s pistol is merely a tattoo of a gun drawn in such a way to look like he’s always packing. Still, the question remains — why?

And there you have this week in “WHAT?!” Can’t wait to see what’s in store for humanity next!

Image via SeattleMet.