Why I opened up to the Internet about how I lost my virginity

I felt the sweat build. It was hot under those set lights! I gulped, realizing there was no turning back. I was about to share a story that I haven’t told many people — one that I can’t say I’m too proud of.

I sat on the bright red couch, next to a bowl of cherries, and looked directly at the camera. “I lost my virginity when I was nineteen…

How did I end up telling the world about how I lost my virginity?

Well, it all began a month prior, when I decided it was time to try something new. I had been attending the all female story telling show, “Sunday Night Sex Talks,” for years. I knew I had some of my own stories — and on a whim, I thought, I should be up on that stage!  So, I reached out to the host of the show. Honestly, the moment I got her email response saying, “We’d love to add you to next month’s lineup, you’re in!” I immediately second guessed myself. You’re not a performer. What are you doing? You’re going to blackout and not know what to say!

To my surprise, I had a great experience at “Sunday Night Sex Talks.” I was nervous up until the moment I stepped on stage — and then suddenly, I felt at ease. You’ve got a story, just tell it. My friends in the audience told me I got a lot of laughs. After my performance, I was on a bit of a high.

So, when I got the request to participate in a promo video for a new young adult novel, Cherry, by writer Lindsey Rosin, I was all in.

Lindsey’s YA novel — which BTW is getting great reviews and you should totally read it — is about four best friends who make a pact to have sex by their high school graduation. Lindsey decided to film a bunch of funny females sharing their first time stories to help promote the book’s launch.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ehhRwpeEJ-Y?feature=oembed

I had a pre-interview with Lindsey in which she asked me to share the story of how I lost my virginity. From there, she told me about some of the other questions she would ask on the day of the shoot. They were real thinkers! “If you’re first time was a song, what would it be?” “If you had any advice for your younger self, what would you tell her?” Lindsey was fun and easy to talk to. This will be easy, I thought!

The shoot was on a Sunday at a soundstage in Los Angeles. I’ve worked in television production before, but I was always behind the camera. When I arrived at the shoot, I was impressed by how much it reminded me of the TV sets that I’ve been on! Then, the panic set in. This is like a real TV set! All these people are going to be staring at me!

I was the first of 23 women to be filmed that day, so at least I didn’t know what I was up against!

Lindsey was the director on the shoot, and she sat across from me, off camera. The lights were shinning bright; I was nervous when I looked out and saw all of the people in the room watching me.

This a story about sex! A few years ago, I would have never talk so openly about the subject! But now, I was ready. This was about just being me -- about feeling comfortable with who I am, and not being embarrassed.

I believe as a writer, this is important. You have to tell your truth and often, for the sake of comedy, you can’t hold back! I steadied myself and we began.

I shared my story about losing my virginity while on Spring Break during my sophomore year of college. I was anxious to lose it, and I didn’t take too much stock on who I lost it to. I was under the influence. The actual act is hard to remember, but the feeling of accomplishment is still very clear. How silly was I to separate all that now matters to me about sex — pleasure, being with someone I care about, safety — just to be able to say “I’m no longer a virgin.”

I answered all of Lindsey’s questions, and even got a few chuckles from the crew; the performance high was back again! Making people laugh brings me joy. So, even if it involves going out of my comfort zone, it still feels worth it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uMt-QzO9yMA?feature=oembed

The more you go outside your normal boundaries, the more you want to try something new! 

I would encourage everyone to do something, just every so often, that makes you nervous. Feel that fear, but do it anyway. Then, look back and laugh.

When the videos from the shoot were released, I realized that I hadn’t made the cut in many of them. At first, I was a bit disappointed. Then, I decided it doesn’t matter! Getting out there and doing something that made me uncomfortable made it all worthwhile. And dare I say, the one line I did get in there, I nailed it.

Check out all of the videos at the Cherry Playlist and see if you can spot me in the video “One Word.”