All the things to remember when you’re the single one in your friend group

It’s getting to that time of year again, where if you’re single, it might seem like every person you pass on the street is holding hands and gazing adoringly into the eyes of someone else. But rather than give in to that expected “oh those smug marrieds” way of thinking that everyone expects us singles to have, I think it’s important instead to point out all the positive things to remember when everyone around us is coupled off.

It’s not a competition

First of all there really is no single versus couples. At least there shouldn’t be, so let’s dismiss that old trope. I don’t believe in the notion of someone having the better life. Ok I mean Jennifer Lawrence’s life seems pretty darn good, don’t get me wrong. But I’m talking in comparison to strangers you see during the day or your friends who happen to be in a different stage of life. People like to use the phrase “the grass is greener” but the grass is only greener if you make it that way. Your life is your life to be lived how you see fit at your own pace.

No one magically forgets what it’s like on the other side

I think sometimes what happens in how couples and singles regard each other is the same thing that happens between parents and teenagers. Teenagers are convinced that parents have no recollection of what it’s like to be young. It’s easy to assume that someone in a relationship can’t possibly remember what it was like on the dating scene, but that’s not true. The same way that even if you’re currently single, you don’t forget what it felt like to have a significant other. Memories aren’t that easily erased. So feeling like you all of a sudden can’t relate to a friend because of the difference in your romantic status is not something to stress about.

You are allowed to feel however you want about it

Sad about being single? Totally fine. Loving it? Just as fine. There’s no rulebook demanding you have to feel a certain way about anything. You do you.

Getting to know your friends’ partners can be fun

Being a third wheel is traditionally looked at as being awkward and uncomfortable, but if your friend is dating a super cool person, hanging out with the two of them can actually be a good time. I know, crazy right? But I’ve had many fun nights being invited over to my bestie’s place to watch a movie and have pizza with her and her husband. Would I want to do it every night? Nope. But I’m sure neither would they.

Single does not translate as “not busy”

The archaic cliche that the single girl has all the time and flexibility in the world to accommodate when it comes to making plans is totally false. We are out living life and doing what we do, and that might be staying out late and going to parties, and that might be staying home to read. Still our plans, and our time, and our choice on how we spend it.

You’re the best company for you

You should always look at yourself as your own best company to be in, regardless of romantic status. Whether single or as part of a couple, if you’re not comfortable with yourself, it’s difficult to find that comfort along with navigating a relationship. So if you find yourself single at a time when it feels like EVERYONE else has their last call of the night, use it to your advantage. Get to know you. Figure out all the things that make you unique and wonderful. Rather than rolling your eyes at the couple holding hands (except on the escalator, that is really frustrating I have to say) focus on you and why you’re so rad. Because you are.

[Image via AMC]