9 weirdest things that are maybe in the Oscars gift bags

Although we all have our own personal faves who we want to win an Oscar this year, we can rest assured that they won’t be leaving the awards ceremony empty-handed — no matter what. In fact, this year’s Oscars swag bag is allegedly worth a whopping $232,000 a bag — a 40 percent increase from last year’s $160,000. Yeah, it’s fancy, but there is also some weeeeird stuff in there.

The bag isn’t affiliated with the official organization, as they stopped giving out gifts in 2006 due to some IRS issues. Now, a Los Angeles-based marketing firm, Distinctive Assets, puts the bags together — and they’ve called the bags “The 14th Annual ‘Everyone Wins’ Nominee Gift Bags in honor of the Academy Awards.”

However, don’t think the Academy is pleased about it — they’ve filed a lawsuit against the company, claiming that “Distinctive Assets’ continued use of the Academy’s trademarks not only infringes the Academy’s trademarks, but it is also likely to dilute the distinctiveness of the Academy’s famous trademarks and tarnish their goodwill.”

So, yeah, you can bet there are some, um, interesting favors that are being given out at the Oscars this year. Here are some of the weirdest things in that fancy not-Academy bag.

1. Haze Dual Vaporizer ($250)

Starting with the strangest: A vape. Because why not.

2. Personalized M&M’s ($300)

To which we ask: Personalized *how*?

3. A lifetime supply of Pu-erh Tea Nourishing Cream and Pu-erh Tea Cleansing Bar ($31,200)

Because just a few bars wasn’t enough.

4. Chapstick ($6)

Even the famous need super-smooth lips.

5. Hydroxycut Gummies ($20)

Why. Just. Why. Aren’t Hydroxycut products super unsafe?

6. Joseph’s Toiletries toilet paper ($275)

Is this toilet paper made out of gold?!

7. Nuelle Fiera arouser for her ($250)

Everyone’s gettin’ some pleasure, even if they don’t win an Oscar.

8. Vampire Breast Lift ($1,900)

Yep, a breast lift is being given out as a party favor. And so is. . .

9. 740 Park plastic surgery ($5,530)

Because Distinctive Assets cares.

Check out everything else in the swag bag on Harper’s Bazaar. We’ll be over here daydreaming about getting *some* of these prizes (others, we’d be happy to leave behind, TBH).