We feel bummed about this advice to not wear your engagement ring on the job hunt

Doesn’t it sometimes feel like society has an endless amount of things for women to worry about? When it comes to a job interview, we all know how stressful the experience can be. You want to be professional, poised, and show off all of the research you’ve done about the position. You want your resume to be top-notch and up to date. You want it to put you on the top of the list for the role in question. As Refinery29 reports, there’s one more thing women in particular now need to worry about. According to a male job recruiter, women shouldn’t wear an engagement ring to the interview if they want to get a job offer. That’s right: For women, being engaged is another thing that can keep us out of the workforce. According to Bruce Hurwitz, that is.

Bruce Hurwitz is a recruiter who posted this advice on LinkedIn. Jezebel points out that while it seems that Hurwitz meant well, the advice comes off as a little archaic for many women out in the workforce. In his post, published August 12th, Hurwitz explains that a woman once didn’t get a job after the interviewer noticed she was wearing a “Hope Diamond” on her finger.

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When pressed on the subject, Hurwitz explained his logic with the following statement: “When a man sees that ring he immediately assumes you are high maintenance. When the woman at the office who has the largest diamond on her finger, sees that ring, she will realize that if you are hired she will fall to second place and will, therefore, not like you. Lose the ring!”

Wait. Let us recap and try to understand. If we, as women, choose to wear a ring that symbolizes many things (self-expression, our relationship, love, WHATEVER you want it to because it’s your ring), then men are going to think we’re basically hard to work with (that’s what “high maintenance” means here, right?). And then on top of that, other women in the office will be threatened by us if the size of the ring is bigger than theirs?

Hurwitz’s advice received a lot of criticism from LinkedIn users, so he followed up with another post, “What Jewelry Not to Wear to a Job Interview.” This one not only explained what an engagement ring is and means more in-depth, but it supposed what would happen if a man wearing a Rolex was interviewed.

“Did you see his watch?  He’s wearing a $50,000 Rolex.  We could never afford him!” the article presumes would be the hiring manager’s thought. Hurwitz writes, “And, no, they will not call to discuss it with you.  They’ll move on to the qualified candidate with the Timex (which is what I wear!).”

When women wear expensive things = high maintenance, as well as a threat to other women.

When men wear expensive things = the company cannot afford him.

Look. As women, even when we work hard enough to access a job interview, it seems that sexism and antiquated notions of gender roles can still keep us out of the job. Women are often times held to different, unfair standards before they’re even considered for the job. This situation can feel so frustrating, and that’s another reason it’s so important to keep fighting every day sexism and work hard to combat dated notions of gender and gender roles in the workplace.

Bottom line? If you’re a woman and want to wear your engagement ring, wear it. If you’re a guy who wants to wear a Rolex, also wear it. You do you.