Gut reactions to the mind-boggling first 2 minutes of ‘The Walking Dead’ premiere

This coming Sunday is going to be a pretty big night for a lot of us. First and foremost, it’s FINALLY the return of The Walking Dead, which picks back up after its winter hiatus. And listen, it’s been a really long wait since that mid-season finale way back in November. While we eagerly anticipate Rick and the gang’s next adventure — he probably doesn’t. Because it means more walking. But wait, I’m getting ahead of myself.

AMC has gone ahead and released the first two minutes of The Walking Dead‘s premiere (which you can check out here), and in just two minutes, I’m totally tripping out. If the clip is supposed to make us feel confused and disorientated, it does a pretty good job at accomplishing that. It also makes me think about this stuff, too:

First off, I’m going to need to watch this at least three to seven times to get the gist of it.

Oh look, a picture of a house. Methinks that house isn’t so picturesque anymore.

Hey, why is everyone crying? Feelings and emotions start rushing back. I promise I’m not crying.

The feelings are shushed by an incredible amount of lens flare. What, did J.J. Abrams direct this episode? (I still love you, J.J.)

Now it’s a funeral, and everyone is crying, and is it SPOILER? Is that what’s happening? Oh, is that the dirt, the shoveling? See, these are things you don’t pick up on the first 5 or 6 times you watch this.

Yeah. Father Gabriel is at least saying nice things, even though they’re not at all reassuring for everyone else.

First sign of Rick, because you can tell that head of hair anywhere. I feel like his beard has grown three sizes since we last saw him.

Everyone’s running through a parking lot. To a car! Wait, is this maybe something we saw earlier in this two minute trailer? Because at second 26, it feels like we’re riding in a car.

I repeat: You’re going to need to watch this multiple times. These first two minutes are all. over. the. place.

Noah — remember him? He left the hospital after, ugggghhhhh Beth’s death, sorry I couldn’t not talk about it anymore. Anyway. Noah talks about a place by Richmond, Virginia. Sounds like a neat place to visit, you guys.

Hold up, I’m going to speculate. The twin boys we keep seeing pictures of are Noah and his brother, and the house we keep seeing in that painting is their house by Richmond, Virginia. That’s where they’re going to go. Yes, no, maybe?

Time for a Rick pep-talk! Which isn’t all that peppy. And actually a little too depressing for a pep talk in the last bit.

“It’s a long trip. But, if it works out, it’s the last long trip we have to make.” – Rick Grimes, famous last words.

“And what if it isn’t around anymore?” Glenn asks and you’re like YEAH RICK, HOW DO YOU KNOW IT’S EVEN THERE?

And then Rick says, “Then we keep going,” and you know everyone is like $&%@, ugh.

The first two minutes conclude with a happy picture of a chalk-drawn sun, because the second half of season five is gonna be all beams of sunshine and puppy play times.

Hold up. Where is Daryl?

My favorite part of all of this is the season’s second-half tagline: The new world’s gonna need Rick Grimes. True that.

What do you guys think? Can you make anything else out of viewing this short clip a million times? Who else is going to agonize over this until Sunday night at 9pm? You’ll know where to find me then: glued to my television.

Images via here and here.