Venus Retrograde starts tomorrow, so prepare to have your love life rocked

Just when we thought we were out of retrograde season, it pulls us back in. On October 6th, Venus, the planet that rules love, harmony, and beauty, leaves lovely Libra and goes retrograde in Scorpio. It will go back to Libra on Halloween (still retrograde) and then finally go direct again on November 16th. In the meantime, you better believe your love life will be off the rails. If your relationship isn’t secure, then Venus Retrograde has the power to shift it or shut it down.

When in Scorpio, Venus’s normally soft and flirty ways get edgy and dark, which means we’ll take on these characteristics as we interact with our nearest and dearest, as well as the world around us. We might be abrupt and brusque with our barista, or curt with our co-workers.

The green-eyed monster will come out: our insecurities have a tendency to get the best of us during this time, and we might find ourselves becoming a little—yuck—possessive over our loved ones. And those passionate love affairs we thought would never burn out? Well, grab a sweater, babe, because they just turned ice cold. Basically, everything we held true about our relationships and our ideas about love are about to go through a time of reckoning.

Hot-button relationship issues are about to come to the forefront as we feel this overwhelming urge to get honest—maybe a little too honest—about our intimacy needs. Venus Retrograde periods are the times when we begin to reassess who and what we value, and why. We’re about to do a relationship overhaul. From how we communicate to who we want to spend our time with to how we like to be touched—everything is up for some reevaluation. Not surprisingly, it’s not recommended to get married or start a new relationship during this time because, well, we’re in rocky times right now, friends. If you see some major celebrity splits going down during Venus Retrograde, you know why.

Because Venus also rules beauty, you might also assess what exactly you find beautiful in both yourself and others. Maybe what turned you on—like a T-shirt and jeans—will be be replaced with something more aligned with who you are currently, like a tailored suit. It’s not an ideal time to try out that new hair color or refresh your wardrobe either, as you’ll likely be acting from a place of impulse and may regret your retrograde aesthetic choices, especially if they veer from your norm. If you really want to change your haircut, give it a think and book an appointment at your salon after November 16th.

During Scorpio’s reign, everything and anything related to sex becomes more prominent than ever, and not necessarily in the most positive way. Maybe you finally realize that your partner just isn’t up to your standards in the boudoir. You might even come to some discoveries about how you use sex in your relationships, for better or for worse. And don’t be surprised if hot-and-heavy invites, like “sex with your ex” or “FWB” texts, blow up your phone either. After all, retrogrades are also about linking our present with the past.

From October 31st to November 16th, Venus remains retrograde in her home planet, Libra, and while we won’t be as deep and intense about our relationships as we were in Scorpio, this still isn’t the ideal time to say “I do.” In fact, this is the perfect time to determine what exactly you desire in a partner, and it’s probably a good time to have an enlightening chat with your partner or therapist—or both. While this isn’t the opportune time to get hitched, you shouldn’t sign any divorce papers or have “The Talk” with a partner either. Emotions and judgments run high during Venus Retrograde, and you want to be as clear-headed as possible before making any life-changing decisions.

Basically, Venus Retrograde, like all retrogrades, is our time to go inwards, bbs. It’s during this time when we reevaluate our deal-breakers, assess our relationship patterning, and examine how we give and receive love. It might not be the most romantic or sexiest time of year, but it can be our most rewarding if we do the work, the healing, and the growing. Here’s to healthier relationships in 2019.