parry ernsberger
January 09, 2013 9:00 am

Hey Trina,

Sorry to have to be the one to tell you, but I’m afraid you’re no longer da baddest bitch. You had a real good run though, girl. And I’m sure you’ll approve of your successor. Her name is Ladda Tammy Duckworth and she’s the first EVER combat-injured female member of Congress in the history of the United States. (Like, ever). Tammy (or T-Murdah, as you’ll come to know her) lost both her legs during a rebel attack in Iraq. What was she doing? Just piloting a monster-trucking Blackhawk helicopter like a BAWSE.

Settle down over there, it’s not just her valiant service as a bawse that makes her qualified to represent the 8th district of Illinois in the House of Representatives. Duckworth ran the Illinois veteran’s bureau from 2006-2009 and is a former Obama-appointed assistant secretary of veterans affairs. “My strength is in finding ways to make the government work for the people,” she said with swagger, “finding waste, or money that is not being properly used … or finding opportunities that are out there and making them work for the community.” WOOP WOOP! Pull over, that platform’s badass! Ain’t nah Rep got mo’ concern for the people! You know what I’m sayin’.

Anyways, it’s a big deal. It took 13 years for someone to unseat you (and FOREVER for a combat-injured female to become a member of Congress, remember), but rest assured that Sisqo made that song when he seen you in a thong th-thong thong thong. And no one can take that away from you. Send Trick Daddy my love!



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