Here’s the “Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt” refresher to read before bingeing on season two

It’s been over a year since the first season of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt graced our Netflix screens. Obviously, we binge-watched it immediately, so it’s also been a long wait for season two. Well, the wait is over — new episodes are available to watch on Netflix ~now~ and we can’t wait to see what’s in store! If season one is feeling a little blurry, here’s a quick refresher on everything you need to know from Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt season one so you can grab your pinot noir and binge-watch to your heart’s content!

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OK, now. Let’s start with our fave fabulous ray of sunshine, shall we?

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Kimmy had a rollercoaster of a time creating a life for herself. After all, moving to New York City from a small town is hard, and that’s without having spent the past 15 years being held hostage in a doomsday bunker since she was in eighth grade.

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Kimmy managed to nab an apartment with her new roommate, Titus, who’s a broke, jaded-yet-hopeful Broadway star. Their landlady is the zany, kindhearted Lillian, and honestly, there could probably be a show comprised entirely of the three of these characters and it would still be amazing.

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Kimmy got a job as a nanny for an upper-class Manhattanite Jacqueline Voorhees, which she’s fired from almost immediately, then promptly rehired after she throws a kickass birthday party for Jacqueline’s son, Buckley. Jacqueline is going through an identity crisis and experiencing extreme dissonance between her heritage as a Native American and her posh, self-obsessed life.

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So pretty much, Kimmy’s life at home and Kimmy’s life at work could not be more different, but at the same time, are very similar because YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO EXPECT EVER.

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Kimmy is faced with the immense task of rebuilding her life and learning about everything she’s missed over the past decade-and-a-half (hello, technology). There’s also the fact that she had all of her $15,000 “Mole Women” fund stolen, meaning she has zero safety nets. Oh, and there’s Jacqueline’s teenage daughter Xan, who is deadset on getting her fired.

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Oh, let’s not forget Kimmy’s crush on Charles, who is Buckley’s super-hot tutor. Her crush blossoms into a kiss, then goes foul after she accidentally says “love” a little too quickly for his tastes.

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To make matters worse, Kimmy encounters Cyndee, one of the other “Mole Women” who she was hoping to never see again to avoid dredging up her past. It doesn’t go particularly well when Cyndee ends up visiting with her soon-to-be-fiance (who also happens to be gay).

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However, Cyndee gets engaged anyway, and it leaves Kimmy thinking. . . what is she going to do with her life? So she decides to enroll in a GED course so that she can finally fully pass the eighth grade. In the meantime, she starts up a flirtation with the very handsome and rich Logan at a schmancy party hosted by Jacqueline. . .

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. . . only to find romance in her GED course, too. She develops a crush on her math tutor (and fellow student), Dong.

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Oh gosh. Classic love triangle.

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However, at Kimmy’s 30th birthday party, she’s forced to make a choice when Logan issues an ultimatum — and she chooses Dong. (Obviously, because both of their names mean “penis” in each other’s languages. It was meant to be.) So they can ride off into the sunset, right?

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Not exactly. But we’ll get to that soon.

In the meantime, let’s move over to Titus, who has been trying to get his Broadway career back on track. After getting the safety deposit for his “Ironman” (but really Metal Hero Man) costume back, he has been working on getting new (and, uh, ULTRA affordable) headshots at the arcade nearby. He even auditioned for a part in the Spiderman Broadway musical, though he’s intimidated by his arch rival. All of this, of course, is leading up to the most important moment in the show: Titus’s music video. Rewatch it now, because it’s an important thing to remember for the second season, guys.

In Kimmy’s world, drama goes down when it comes time to testify against Reverend Richard Wayne Gary Wayne, and Kimmy is prepared to stay in New York and avoid getting involved in the case at all. However, her desire to see the reverend put behind bars wins  and she travels back to Indiana to testify with the other Mole Women. At first, the reverend’s ~charisma~ makes it look like he’ll get away with it, so the women decide to go back to the bunker to find evidence against him. . . only to get accidentally locked in. Baaaaaaad memories there.

However, they end up finding exactly what they needed: A video tape that shows Richard Wayne Gary Wayne auditioning for a reality show, which proves that he knew the end of the world wasn’t coming, after all. Hooray, case won!

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However, during the trial, Dong had called Kimmy nine times, and she hadn’t noticed. Tragically, immigration had come for him. Before the trial, he had asked Kimmy about marriage, and she naturally had to think about it — but he had to make a decision fast when she was away, and he ultimately married Sonia from their graduating class. *sob*

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OK folks, that’s about everything. Time to binge-watch, because females are strong as hell.

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