‘The Dogwalker’ from ‘Trainwreck’ is the movie-within-a-movie we NEED to be real

This weekend marks the opening of Amy Schumer’s hilariously awesome movie, Trainwreck. And you guys, audience members are in for a two-for-one treat because there’s a movie-within-a-movie in Trainwreck. The pretend movie also happens to be one of our favorite things about the actual movie.

It stars Daniel Radcliffe as…wait for it…a super intense dog walker who hangs out in New York City with DOZENS of dogs tethered to his waist. Shot in moody back and white, it has all the makings of an angst-ridden indie-flick masterpiece. Plus, there are dogs. Lots and LOTS of dogs. The title is (fittingly) The Dogwalker.

Please, someone make this movie a real thing. Please.

We mean no offense at all to Amy Schumer, who is amazing in the lead role of Trainwreck. Not only does she star in the film, but she also wrote it. Which technically means, she also wrote The Dogwalker. Confused? I know. It’s a little complicated. Just know this: We love Amy. And we love Harry Potter walking dogs. If you’ve ever wondered what he might look like walking dozens of dogs, it goes something like this:

Wow. Just wow. (Side note: where can I get a belt like that? You know, just in case I need to walk a hundred dogs all at the same time.)

The Dogwalker also stars Marisa Tomei, who enlists the dog walker’s help with her emotionally distressed poodle. I’m paraphrasing, but the super-dramatic exchange goes something like this:

“Can you help my dog?” she asks, all trembly and vulnerable.

“Yes,” Daniel Radcliffe responds with the utmost intensity. “I’ll strap that dog to my waist. And I will walk it.”

It’s hilarious. Like a dog walking soap opera.

I mean, look. Can’t you just feel the angst?

We’re not the only ones who are obsessed. Trainwreck just opened yesterday and Twitter is already abuzz.

We first heard rumors of Daniel Radcliffe appearing in Trainwreck last summer, when he was spotted in Central Park with Judd Apatow and Marisa Tomei (and a million dogs). Judd Apatow tweeted a denial, though, saying, “Not true! He was just walking his dogs.” Right.

Nice try, Judd Apatow. Now that Trainwreck is in theaters, the cat’s out of the bag.

Er, I mean dogs. Plural. All 345,798 of them.

(Images via Twitter and here.)