There’s officially an opening for chief toy tester at Toys R Us

Drop everything, because your dream job just opened up in Canada. Thirteen-year-old Alex Thorne was the envy of all his classmates, working for the past few years as Toys R Us Canada’s Chief Play Officer, but he’s decided to move on from the world of toy testing to focus on a different job: high school.

He gave an official statement explaining his decision:

Thorne’s departure leaves an opening in the company, and the job description seems too good to be real. Chief toy testers receive sample toys from companies to play with and review, ensuring Toys R Us only gives their customers the best of the best. The tester also appears at charitable events and on the Toys R Us floats in parades.

Amazing right? Here’s the bad news: We probably aren’t eligible to apply. For starters, you have to live in Canada, which is nothing that a simple move can’t fix, but I don’t think any of us have a time machine. That’s right, this position is just for kids — specifically, ages eleven to thirteen.

I guess this makes sense, but it doesn’t take into account the sheer number of us who are still kids at heart. Why spend hours at a nine-to-five job you only kind of like when you could just as effectively, and more enthusiastically, spend your days shooting toy lasers and inspecting dollhouses?

Even if we could convince Toys R Us to take us, the deadline for applications has already passed. We’ll just have to wait and see which lucky Canadian is going to officially be the coolest kid in America.

(Image via ValeStock / Shutterstock.com)