Everything I need to know, I learned from Tina Fey. (It’s her birthday, you guys!)

Happy birthday to Tina Fey, the funniest woman in history, maybe?! I cannot believe I have never written about Tina Fey before, though to be fair, I have written about Fey and Amy Poehler, the dynamic duo we all dream of becoming. (Impossible.) Regardless, today is Fey’s birthday and it is high time I paid her the respect she deserves. (P.S. Yes I am watching Mean Girls as I write this, how dare you.)

EINTKILF Tina Fey

1. Own your own.

“Don’t waste your energy trying to change opinions. Do your thing and don’t care if they like it.”

I don’t actually know if there is better advice than “do your thing.” There is nothing more exhilarating than having the mindset of I do what I want. Admittedly, I have always had this attitude and it does not always make you a ton of friends, but I am not a people pleaser, and obviously Fey isn’t either. To all my ladies: chase your dreams, speak your mind, have your own opinions—forget about the naysayers.

2. Find your confidence.

“Confidence is 10% hard work and 90% delusion.”

Even if Fey claims that a large majority of confidence is delusion, that’s just a better way of stating “fake it ’til you make it.” Even if you feel not-so-confident about something, or everything, being a little bit delusional in your own favor is never a bad idea.

3. Women need to support other women.

“Obviously, as an adult I realize this girl-on-girl sabotage is the third worst kind of female behavior…”

And if you don’t know the rest of that quote, it is high time you read Bossypants, people! Fey is obviously all about supporting other women. Not only is she very loud and proud about women being funny, talented, and so on—but she is also super-supportive of the women in her own life.

4. Know how to judge a person.

“You can always tell how smart someone is by what they laugh at.”

Even though I hesitate to agree with that quote, it really is true. Basically the best (and, IMO, the only acceptable) way to judge someone is by what they find funny. Like really, really funny. You know those people who laugh at the expense of others? And not like when Fey teases George Clooney, but like the bad expense of others? Those people have bigger issues. People who laugh-out-loud over an old episode of Friends? I can get behind them.

5. Beauty standards are ridic.

“If you retain nothing else, always remember the most important rule of beauty, which is: who cares?”

I don’t even need to explain this one. It is a NO DUH at this point.

6. A human can, in fact, write a PERFECT FILM.

And also, a really great television show. But about that film—Mean Girls represents an entire generation of human beings. (My generation, if that is unclear.) YES, I love Clueless, and NO, I have never seen Heathers or whatever, but Mean Girls? Mean Girls is what I had been waiting for all of my life, when it came out at (my) 17th year on earth. Andthe moviejust gets more and more relevant, which is weird because I graduated high school 10 years ago. If any of this was unclear, Fey wrote the screenplay for the movie, thus we worship her for life.

And Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt is stellar, which Fey created, so thank you again. (Also 30 Rock, duh, but uh, I haven’t finished that series please don’t judge me.)

7. Work hard. Just work so hard.

“Whatever the problem, be part of the solution. Don’t just sit around raising questions and pointing out obstacles.”

Fey is an extremely hard-working person who also manages to be hilarious and make everything look super-easy all at once. She is the kind of woman I would love to be, and though I consider myself a hard worker, I could never do half as much as she does without breaking down and crying and/or drinking whole bottles of wine every night. If you want to be a boss, you gotta work for it. Speaking of…

8. Be the damn boss.

“In most cases being a good boss means hiring talented people and then getting out of their way.”

Fey is a boss. And though I used to hate the word “bossy,” I love that the title of Fey’s book is Bossypants. And I love everything she has ever said about the word, the title, the attitude, the anything. However, everyone knows Fey is the boss. She controls the room, and I am willing to bet she controlled the room before she was even the Tina Fey.

9. Bitches get stuff done.

Annnnnnnd done.

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