Oh my god, Tiffany Haddish and Brad Pitt have a hookup pact set for 2019

Is there a couch to faint on nearby? Because you’re about to need it. Tiffany Haddish and Brad Pitt have a hookup pact for 2019. Full stop. If they’re both single by next year, Tiffany Haddish and Brad Pitt are going to hook up. How do we know this? From Haddish herself, of course.

Haddish told Kelly Ripa that she and Brad Pitt made a pact. While playing “Marry, Date, Ditch” with Ripa on Oscar night, the comedian revealed exactly what went down. Haddish and Pitt are both semi-recently divorced, and both are single for the time being. Of course, when Pitt’s name came up, the Girls Trip star didn’t hold back:

"Oh I just met him an the elevator, he said in one year if he's single and I'm single we gonna do it, so you know what that means. But he do got seven kids, I don't know if I could deal with a man that's got that many kids...I don't know, he told me to wait a year!"

Why wait until next year? C’mon, Pitt! To quote Haddish herself, #SheReady.

In a fun twist, it turns out that Haddish’s love of A-list dudes doesn’t extend to everyone. She might have a thing for Pitt, Clooney, and Michael B. Jordan, but not all men are grapefruit-worthy. In the game of “Marry, Date, Ditch,” the comedian would ditch Oscar winner Javier Bardem because she has no idea who he is. Amazing.

Here’s the video of Tiffany Haddish and Kelly Ripa, and *please* note that Haddish is still wearing her beloved Alexander McQueen dress.

She said she was going to get her money’s worth, and she is.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yuz3jk55OzM?feature=oembed

After everything that happened in 2017, it’s hard to be surprised by anything these days. But it’s official: We ship Tiffany Haddish and Brad Pitt for 2019. Kind of makes your “let’s get married if we’re single at 40” pact with your friend seem a little less exciting, no?