The Secret Life of Single Girls
People imagine the life of a young single girl to be filled with nights out, shopping and brunch dates with girlfriends – and it is. There’s a few things though, that the rest of the world doesn’t consider. I’m sure if they really bothered to ponder the possibilities, they’d come up with them on their own but who has time for that? I’m going to let you in on a few more activities that single girls get up to.
Eat chocolate for dinner… or breakfast
It’s been scientifically proven that when a girl becomes single, her stomach changes its rules and will accept any food, any time. This goes into overdrive during the mourning period and she is able to scoff entire tubs of ice cream in one go. When things settle down emotionally, she’s still left with the ability to stomach chocolate at any time of the day or night.
I apologise for using such a girly word to describe the feeling but there really is nothing else that does it justice. I don’t know if it’s the polite smiles you get from random boys or the self assurance you feel when you realise you’re actually killing it on your own. Whatever the cause, there’s no denying you feel much more sparkly when single. If I reflect on my day to day life, I actually see a little montage in my head similar to the start of Clueless where Cher says “Okay so you’re probably going ‘Is this like, a Noxzema commercial, or what?’”
Shave Their Legs Less Frequently
While single, I like to limit it to just once a week. Thank god for stockings! Every girl is different and timelines will vary but this is the reason a girl won’t be happy if a boy spontaneously hits her up to stay the night. You have to plan that stuff if you wanna make it on Legs Day.
I certainly don’t believe a female should arrange her life goals around the person she is seeing. It just so happens that when a relationship ends, there’s usually a few goals left unreached that you were planning to achieve with your former partner. When that is no longer the case, it makes room for you to re-evaluate and come up with some goals to achieve on your own.
Allow Room For Improvement
As much as I don’t want to admit it, most single girls spend a tiny portion of their time thinking about the qualities they’d like in their next partner… Or even if they’d like their next conquest to become a partner. It’s kind of along the same lines as iOS updates: “I think I’d like this year’s model to have a better sense of humour and bigger muscles”.
Dislike Attention From Passing Cars
I don’t care what guys think, it’s not nice to have horns beeped or cat calls hurled your way while you’re exercising. I know it’s meant as a compliment but why not try something more useful like offering to change a light bulb or put the heavy groceries in the car? Unless you actually know the person or would like to abuse them, the horn is not necessary.
There’s a few more perks that I shan’t go into detail about such as not wearing pants, eating chips while watching TV and sleeping in a shape similar to starfish. I guess you can pretty much bet money on the fact that if a single girl isn’t out being fabulous, she’s at home acting like a middle-aged man. Enticing, isn’t it?
Kirra Jarman is a bubble gum enthusiast masquerading as an adult. She lives in Brisbane, Australia but plans to relocate to Never Never Land before her 25th birthday. Check out her Instagram @_prettylife_ or blog to learn more.
Featured Image via Shutterstock.