Let’s talk about last night’s INSANE ‘GOT’ finale

You guys, Game of Thrones. HBO aired its Season 5 finale last night, and it was crazy. It was even a step beyond crazy, if there is such a thing. Well in Westeros, there is and it happened. Now, we’re living in a post-GOT Season 5 finale world, so let’s process this brave new world together.

This season, the show diverged from its source material, George R.R. Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire saga, and we’re totally fine with that. In some cases it’s been a small tweak here or there with a character simply going in a different direction or having a different chain of events happen. In other cases it has been A HUGE, GIGANTIC DIVERSION that has left us all freaking out. Straying from the books also means another thing — no one is safe. No one. Not even characters who are still alive in the books are safe, because the show is forging its own path ahead. Which brings us to last night’s finale where so much stuff happened, over the course of an hour, it’s going to take us a while to process everything.

So here’s that fateful Game of Thrones spoiler warning if you somehow managed to miss the Season 5 finale “Mother’s Mercy,” we recommend you back away from the browser because we are not holding back. Now, we’ll start with the least insane finale moments, and make our way towards the most insane finale moments. You ready?

Jaime loses another child

Jaime manages to finally get Myrcella on a boat to leave Dorne. Once on the boat, Jaime tiptoes around admitting to Myrcella that he’s her father, but then she comes right out and stops him: She knows, and she’s known for a while. It’s a happy moment, but it’s short-lived. Myrcella dies in Jaime’s arms, after being poisoned by Elliara.

Tyrion, Daario, and Jorah chill 

Here’s a Hollywood remake idea: Tyrion, Daario, and Jorah cast in a Three Men and A Baby remake, but instead of a baby they have to raise Dany’s two remaining dragons that still live in the Meereen dungeon. With these three, it’d be comedy GOLD.

Aside from sitting around and waiting for Dany, these guys don’t really do much. We do know what they’re going to do next season, though: Daario and Jorah head will off to find Dany, and leave Tyrion behind to watch over Meereen.

Daenerys escapes, only to find herself surrounded again

After flying away on Drogon the dragon, she winds up . . . somewhere. She’s then surrounded by . . . someone. Or, a bunch of someones on horseback. Who are these people? They’re Dothrakis. Dany’s back with some familiar faces, but I can’t imagine they’ll welcome her with open arms.

Sansa makes a quick getaway

It’s an understatement to say that Sansa has had a pretty crappy GOT season. So, you know, we’ve really been rooting for her to escape her awful situation at Winterfell with Ramsay. Last night, she sort of did, maybe, we hope. PLEASE ESCAPE SANSA.

Sansa is cornered by Myranda (who’s in love with Ramsay), but luckily Sansa has Theon with her. Myranda taunts Sansa which pushes Theon to snap, and Theon ultimately shoves Myranda over the balcony, apparently killing her. Then, Theon and Sansa jump off of the top of Winterfell wall together, hopefully into the soft, fluffy snow below to break their falls.

Brienne reaffirms her badass status

Brienne didn’t have a whole lot to do this season, TBH. But when she did show up, she was taking names and kicking butt. In last night’s finale, she comes across the person at the top of our Most Hated GOT list right now: Stannis, House of You’re The Worst. Brienne doesn’t even realize that Stannis had his daughter sacrificed last episode, or that his wife hung herself at the beginning of this episode. Nope, all she knows is that Stannis had a hand in killing his brother, Renly, and Brienne is here to avenge his death. You go, Brienne.

Arya makes a god angry

Arya can now cross another name off of her kill list: Ser Meryn Trant. She stabs him in the head. She might stab him elsewhere, but honestly I didn’t see it because I most definitely buried my head into a pillow.

Even while we’re rooting for little Arya, in doing this she angers the Many-Faced God. She may be trying to become a Faceless Man, but she’s still very clearly Arya Stark. Her House of Black and White sage, Jaqen, informs her that she just can’t go killing people for her own agenda, and for a second it looks like he’s going to poison her. Instead, he poisons himself. But he’s not really dead, as the body that falls is full of many faces, including Arya’s. Then, Arya goes blind.

Most Insane Moment on GOT: Cersei’s Walk Through The Streets

Cersei lied and had Margaery imprisoned, but then Cersei’s lies were uncovered, and Cersei was imprisoned. She’s had a rough couple of weeks, being in prison and all, and then it gets even worse. She’s ready to come clean about her lies and mistakes, and while the High Sparrow is going to allow that, she still has to repent for her sins.

Is this GOT‘s craziest scene to date? I’m going to go with yes. Cersei is bathed, and then her hair is cut down to the scalp. Then, she’s led to steps of the Great Sept where she’s disrobed, and marched naked through the streets. It’s also not a quick scene, but a very long and difficult to watch scene because Cersei is vulnerable in every single sense of the word. People yell, taunt her, throw food at her, and a few people spit. Even though Cersei is very bad and pretty evil, it’s hard to believe she deserves this kind of punishment.

Most WTF Moment on GOT: Jon Snow down for the count

For those who have read all the way up to the end of Dance with Dragons, you knew this scene was coming. For everyone else who has not read all of Martin’s books, this scene was a complete shock. Jon Snow is stabbed, and killed, by his fellow men.

The scene starts with little Olly rushing in to say that he’s got news about Jon’s long-lost uncle, Benjen. Here’s when I started cheering because even though I haven’t read A Dance with Dragons, I do know there’s a theory out there about how Benjen is really Daario in disguise and I was so happy!! (That’s a theory for another day!!) And then I started thinking about how there’s no way Daario could have made it to The Wall so quickly and something was horribly wrong!!

After being led outside to a big TRAITOR sign, Jon is stabbed. And then he’s stabbed again, and again, and finally stabbed by Olly. Last we see of Jon, he’s lying in the snow in a pool of his own blood, and guys, he’s really dead. Like, everyone has confirmed it from Kit Harrington to showrunners David Benioff and D.B. Weiss.

The only person who hasn’t confirmed it: Martin. Jon’s fate is left up in the air at the end of A Dance with Dragons, and in the bookshe could still be alive. Which would be very interesting if he’s dead on the show and alive in the books.

And there you have it. That’s how Game of Throne‘s Season 5 wrapped up, and flew away on the back of a dragon to parts unknown. It was full of the crazy, and the crazier. Is it time for Season 6 yet?

[Images via here, here, here, here, here, and here.]

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