The Friend Zone

There is another dimension beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between everything and nothing, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man’s fears and the summit of his knowledge. Women promise it exists and men feign to believe. A place that once you enter, it’s hard to leave. Some might even say impossible. This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area which we call… the Friend Zone.

“Let’s just be friends.” The four words that every man dreads. The Friend Zone is the place that guys end up when girls don’t want to date them and just want to be friends. Guys warn each other about this. It is the one place that no man wants to go. The place that all guys do everything in their power to avoid. It is said that once enter “the zone”, there is no getting out. You are now a friend.

What does this mean? Once these words are spoken, the only reason you are going into her bedroom is to help her decide what to wear. Girls will stop putting on making and trying to look nice around you. You will notice a sudden increase in the amounts of texts, phonecalls, snapchats, etc. that you receive. They no longer need to impress you or watch what they say. There’s no “should I text him?” or “why hasn’t he texted me?” And the worst part is… girls will start asking for advice about other guys. Once that happens, you’re in deep. There’s no turning back.

Recently, I’ve noticed among my friends that not only do we use the term, but we’ve turned it into a verb – to friend zone. It means to take a guy that is interested in you romantically and to make him your platonic friend. An example of how this might be used in a sentence is, “I’m going to friend zone him”. I’m sorry, guys, but yes, girls really say this.

Now, every guy reading this thinks that this so called friend zone does not exist. They think they just let the girl think it does so they can get closer before they make their move. Don’t they know by now that girls are smarter than them?

The most famous of the close-minded males who don’t believe that the Friend Zone exists is Harry Burns from Nora Ephron’s film, When Harry Met Sally. Harry states “men and women can’t be friends because the sex part gets in the way.”

Well, I think there are a few exceptions to this rule:

1. Homosexuality. Girls love having gay guys as best friends. It’s the best of both worlds. Or, if they themselves are gay, in which case, friends is the best you’re gonna get.

2. Old friends. When you become friends with a guy before the ages of teenage hormones, the two learn to see each other in a gender neutral way (well, sometimes).

3. If you or he is involved with someone else when you meet. This way you develop a friendship without one person rejecting the other from the start.

4. My personal favorite: If you are just a cool person to be around, guys might stop thinking with their d*cks for a second and just enjoy your company. But the biggest thing I’ve learned thus far in my life is that it is very, very rare for a guy to stop thinking below the belt. Borderline impossible. They can’t help it.

There is a middle ground, though: friends with benefits. I can only assume this was thought of by a man. This is when a guy and a girl try to be friends while having sex on the side. Everyone wins. Right? I think everyone has attempted this at least once. But one person always develops feelings. Even when they don’t want to! Although the idea of friends with benefits seems like a brilliant plan, it never works. (And if it does work, that means neither of you has feelings for the other so… how fun it could it possibly be?)

But in When Harry Met Sally, the two eventually do become best friends, proving women right. Men and women can just be friends. It is possible! See guys, we told you so. But, at the very end (spoiler alert), they get together. Thus, proving guys right. So, who knows?

I think when it comes to love, real love, friendship is a key ingredient. When writing romantic comedies, it is a very common storyline for a guy to be in love with a girl who is in love with someone else (the wrong guy). Our guy becomes her best friend and by the end of the movie, they end up together.

The person you want to spend the rest of your with better be your best friend, otherwise, life is going to seem a whole lot longer. It just takes us girls a little bit longer to figure this out. So if you are a guy stuck in the Friend Zone, I’d say hang in there. Because, if life is anything like a romantic comedy (which I’m still hoping mine is), you will most likely get the girl in the end.

Featured Image via BDdesigns