Thoughts I had during my first half marathon
For most of my life, I had been adamantly against exercise. I believed that people should only run if it was from something. I didn’t understand the desire to put yourself through that much discomfort a few times a week. But the older I got, the more I learned about caring for my body, so this past year I decided to train for a half marathon. But that doesn’t mean it was easy. While I’m proud that I accomplished it, I definitely had some interesting thoughts along the way:
At the starting line…
1. I can totally stand up front with the hardcore athletes.
Five minutes in…
2. I maybe shouldn’t have stood up front with the hardcore athletes.
3. What do I do if I have to pee?
4. Okay, don’t think about having to pee.
5. I should do a full marathon next time. This has been pretty easy so far.
At the first water station…
6. Would it be rude of me to request a different flavor of Gatorade? This one is going to make my mouth orange.
7. Oof. First cramp. Okay. No big deal.
8. This should be over soon anyways.
At the four mile mark…
9. Are you joking? Four miles?
10. Okay, that means I just have to do what I just did…two more times…plus a little bit more.
11. Did I just get passed by someone without shoes? How do you run without shoes??
12. I can’t believe people run half marathons as a couple. I can’t think of anything less romantic. Go watch Netflix like normal humans!
At the first snack station…
13. GIMME ALL THE PEANUT BUTTER.
At the halfway point…
14. I’m going to eat so much after this. I’m going to eat an entire muffin in one bite.
15. Or maybe a pizza.
16. Do you think I could text my friends to meet me at the end with a pizza?
17. I wonder if anyone’s texted me.
18. Or maybe they all secretly planned to get together and cheer me on at the finish line. That’s so sweet of them.
3/4 of the way there…
19. Just finish this and you will never. Have to do it. AGAIN.
20. I don’t even think what I’m doing can legally be called “running” at this point.
At the finish line…
21. Wait. Why does it seem like nobody is here?
22. Where are my friends?
23. Why is nobody else with me on the track?
24. Of course. Because they all finished ages ago.
25. At least the ground loves me. I’m going to stay here forever.