Things extremely clumsy people can relate to
You don’t have to know me very well to know that I am an extremely clumsy person. Really, you basically just have to be an acquaintance of mine…or go to school with me…or have seen me in public, ever. The point is, I’m that person, who gets labeled a klutz and kind of deserves it. A generous description would be that I’m adorably clumsy; but a more accurate one would be that it’s a little pitiful that, in all 16 years of my life, I have yet to master the art of walking smoothly.
If you’re a naturally clumsy person like me, here are some things you can surely relate to:
A deathly fear of sharp turns
Corners are intensely hazardous.
Sometimes losing your balance from just… standing
Especially if you try to multitask by thinking about standing too much.
That collection of bruises all over
You’ve probably stopped keeping track.
Your catchphrase is, “I’m OK!” or, “It’s all good!” or, my personal favorite, “All is well!”
People need updates.
Drying dishes is the enemy
Water and breakables just don’t mix in clumsy person’s world.
Constantly getting asked the question, “are you sure you’re ok?”
You usually are.
Libraries are a source of anxiety
That loud noise was probably you, wreaking (accidental) havoc on the place.
Constant apologies for dropping, or knocking over, things
Tripping over your own feet
They get in the way of walking.
Shaving is a dangerous activity
Razor nicks? I call them battle wounds.
Friends who have stopped reacting to exclamations of pain
That high pain tolerance
You have it because you have to.
Eye stabbings while trying to apply mascara
The eye is not mightier than the wand.
Stepping on people’s feet while hugging
Without meaning to step on their toes. (Pun intended.)
The attempted loud entrances turn into loud crashes, falls, or injuries
Nothing serious. But definitely embarrassing.
Daydreaming endangers your most thrilling activities
Like walking. (Uneven cement is to be closely watched for at all times.)
Deep envy of people who can walk seamlessly in heels
Because we deserve some of the smoothness, too!
Are you clumsy, too? Did I miss anything?