Teen Roundtable: What do you REALLY think about promposals?
Prom season is upon us and that means it’s prep time. It’s time to look for the perfect outfit, figure out your pre- and post-prom plans and, of course, decide who you’re going to go with. Going with friends is an amazing option, but, for some people, there’s still something special about going with that someone special. In days of yore, an invitation to prom was a quiet, maybe even meek thing. A nervous, “Hey, um, are you, you know, going to prom with anybody yet?” at lunch or a dorky “Will you go to prom with me, check yes or no” note passed in class would do the trick. Today, that’s not so much the case.
We’re in the age of the promposal, when prom invitations are as elaborate as marriage proposals. Teens are planning grand gestures, which can be romantic and sweet and certainly thoughtful, but are also in danger of being over-the-top or putting too much pressure on the askee. It’s easy to eye roll and judge promposals when you’re years removed from high school, so we wanted to know what the people planning and receiving them think of the whole thing. We asked some of our favorite real life teens (our amazing contributors) what they really think about promposals. Here’s what they had to say.
I LOVE them!
“I absolutely love promposals! Prom season is by far the best season, and I think it’s so cute seeing everyone getting asked to prom and ball. And promposals totally take more work than you think, so I give anyone who does them some major credit because a lot of time goes into them. The only downside is if you’re the one receiving the proposal, it’s hard to say no, so you could end up going to prom with someone who isn’t your dream date. But other than that promposals are so much fun for everyone and it’s so interesting seeing everyone’s creativity!” – Jaide Soto, 16.
You should make sure the person is going to say yes before you do something huge.
“I think they’re really sweet and cute for like couples who know they’ll go to prom together. But I feel like they can be extremely awkward for other people because it sort of pressures the person being asked into saying yes. In fact, at my school, kids will actually ask the person first or ask the person’s friend before they make the official promposal so it doesn’t get awkward.” – Tanvi Bajpai, 17.
Simple is best.
“I think that promposals are pretty cute. I quite like the smaller, more personal ones that aren’t a big public spectacle. Keeping it simple but still original is the best way, I think. It’s always awesome when it is related to something that the person being asked is really passionate about because it adds a little something that makes it special for them.” – Mackenzie Walsh, 16.
People cross the line a lot with promposals.
“Promposals are cute to a certain point. There’s a thin line between ‘aww’ and ‘why?,’ and people often cross that line when trying to get someone to say yes. Promposals are truly their best when they’re sweet, simple, and personal.” – Erin Reid, 18.
I’m a prom hater, but I still think promposals are cute.
“Okay, as much as I hate prom (and school dances in general), I love promposals. Most of them are really creative, clever, and sweet! My own boyfriend promposed to me last year by getting me a Captain America action figure and covering the shield with a piece of paper that said ‘Prom?’ on it. Promposals are just really cute and fun, as long as they’re the ones that allow options.” – Kim Webb, 18.
Keep it private.
“I think that if done correctly, promposals can be really sweet. By working with the date’s parents/guardians, a promposal can be huge and adorable, but private. Then it can be left to the date’s discretion of what to share with their friends and peers. It also helps in case they get turned down.” – Ana Mathews, 16In other parts of the world, it seems like something that only happens in movies. “Prom isn’t such a big deal in the UK, so a promposal seems a little over the top! It seems like they create pressure to have a date for a prom and have a grand gesture directed to you, but prom should be about having fun with your friends and celebrating the end of school! I thought promposals only happened in teen high school movies! Seems a bit much if you ask me!” – Ella Minker, 18. It takes a lot of courage! “It all depends on the person…. some love the attention of something big, others would prefer something sweet and romantic. I personally applaud any creativity, but also appreciate even the simplest promposal because I know it takes a lot of courage for someone to ask!” – Jenny Labovitz, 18. They can get competitive. “Promposals can quickly turn into a competition between couples and can set unrealistic standards for the night and the relationship. I don’t want a guy to worry that I won’t go to Prom with him unless he does something huge and expensive. I prefer small and personal gestures. It definitely shouldn’t be about the money or the likes it’ll get on Facebook; that’s what it usually ends up being about and I think that’s really sad.” – Sarah Meisch, 17. The whole thing is over-the-top. “I think promposals require a lot of thought, so they definitely convey that the person asking invested a lot of time to make the other person’s day a little brighter, and I don’t think that’s should ever be considered a bad thing! But, doing an all-out promposal seems a little blown out of proportion. Also, the person on the receiving end is almost criminalized if they decide to decline the offer, and going to a dance with someone you don’t want to is just not fun.” – Megan Phelps, 15. The cornier, the better! “Promposals are a cute idea, but I feel as if lately people are taking them too far. They can be super cute if done tastefully and respectfully, but can also get out of hand very easily. P.S: Corny promposals are never bad in my opinion!!! The cornier, the better!” – Savannah Martin, 16. I’d like a sweet promposal myself. “I think promposals are super sweet! It really takes some thought and effort for someone to come up with some unique way to ask you to prom. I would love for someone to come up with a sweet way to ask me to prom.” Avianne Robinson, 16.
(Image via here.)