What marriage equality means to me: From a girl with two moms
I guess I should start off with my usual clarifications: Yes, my moms are lesbians, and I call both of them “Mom” (which gets kind of confusing from time-to-time). I’ve never known a life without my moms. They were together five years before I was born, via the help of an anonymous sperm donor.
Growing up with two moms, my life has always been different. During Mother’s Day arts and crafts at school, I had to ask my teacher for two sets of supplies. When Father’s Day rolled around, teachers gave all of us neckties to decorate, and I turned them sideways to make scarves. I was lucky enough to grow up in Southern California (surrounded by a strong LGBT community), but being the daughter of two lesbians was never a norm. Occasionally there were people who harassed me, whether it be verbally antagonizing me or leaving a homophobic note on the dashboard of my car. Even though I identify as straight, I’ve learned how toxic homophobic beliefs can be. At a young age I was forced to decide between two options: disassociate myself from my parents or embrace them. I chose the latter. I’ve never tried to hide the fact that I have two moms, but instead I’ve supported the LGBT community and the fight for marriage equality.
I’ve known for weeks that the Supreme Court was hearing the Obergefell v. Hodges case, and yesterday started off like any other day. I woke up early for a morning run by the beach (and, of course, I had to Snapchat the lovely view). Swiping through my usual filters and geotags, I was surprised to come across a new geotag: “Making History” written in rainbow colors. I scrolled through my stories to find the Marriage Equality live story.
And then I found out.
The U.S. Supreme Court ruled in favor of same-sex marriage nationwide (as in 50/50 states with no fine print). Honestly, at first I was in shock; everything was too good to be true. Two years ago today, the Supreme Court overturned the Defensive of Marriage Act (DOMA), and that seemed like such a great step at the time. My parents were finally able to marry after being together for 21 years (and I even had the pleasure of singing at their wedding). Sure, I’ve felt this progress was destined to happen over time, but I always thought I would be married with my own kids before same-sex marriage was legalized nationally. Just a few years ago, in my AP US History class, I was learning about Marbury v. Madison, Loving v. Virginia, and Brown v. Board of Ed. It’s mind-blowing to think that, in less than 20 years, Obergefell v. Hodges (and this day) could pop up in a textbook! I never thought I would have the privilege to see this occur at such a young age, and I’m even more fortunate that my moms were able to see it, too.
I called my moms first thing after I found out. I was at a loss for words and had no idea where to begin the conversation. Even though nothing was going to change in our day-to-day lives, I felt like everything was different. After talking with my moms, their sentiments helped me realize what I’m excited about: the future. For the LGBT generations to come who won’t have to deal with the setbacks my parents faced — struggling to obtain guardianship over me, paying extra taxes, waiting decades to get married. I’m excited to know that people won’t fear being unloved for who they choose to love. Yesterday’s victory is not just for same-sex couples. It’s a victory for their children, friends, loved ones, and people not even born yet. It’s national acceptance of everyone’s love: man, woman, and everyone in between. In the end, it’s a victory for love.