Why Kimmy Schmidt is the friend everyone needs in high school
Imagine it. You’re starting your first day of a brand new year of high school. You’re walking down the halls and breathing in the scent of new erasers and not-yet-dirty lockers. Your hair is flowing, your outfit is on point, the music in your head matches your beat, and you’re pretty sure all those head-turns and jaw-drops are meant for you. Just as you’re about to cock your hip and sassily snap your fingers, you realize everyone’s staring right through you at someone behind you. Kimmy Schmidt. Welcome to the first day of school. *cue theme song*
Okay, so maybe Kimmy Schmidt being actually, literally at your high school is a little far-fetched (what with her being a fictional character and a grown-up woman and all), but that can’t stop me from kind of, sort of, totally wishing she could be. Kimmy would be the perfect partner in crime to make the high school years the best they can be. She survived life in an underground bunker without losing her amazing, everything-is-awesome spirit; high school would be a cake walk. Here are all the reasons Kimmy Schmidt would make the ultimate high school BFF.
When you laugh at the totally wrong moment, Kimmy would have your back.
Sometimes you take a joke a little too far or laugh at a serious topic. It’s normal human awkwardness, but that doesn’t make the weird moment that follows any less uncomfortable. But luckily, Kimmy is proof that even girls who have been living underground for 15 years aren’t exempt from moments of absurd awkwardness. If Kimmy were your high school BFF, she would understand your predicament and come to the rescue with a subject change and some amazing honesty.
Lunch would become an adventure.
School lunches seem totally drab and terrible to most people, when you’ve been living underground for 15 years, you’re bound to be a little excited when someone breaks out even the most mundane of snacks. During lunch you could find Kimmy eagerly standing in line at the snack bar, showing everyone that you actually should be excited that there are options other than the mystery meat, even if they seem boring to you by now.
She could pass on some insane selfie skills.
Kimmy would be the undisputed selfie queen of your school. Hands-down, Kimmy takes the best selfies out there, thanks to Jacqueline’s tutelage. With her pouty lips, kind eyes, and hashbrown filters, Kimmy is unbeatable. She would capture every important high school moment and save the memories for everyone for years to come.
She stands up for underdogs in the BEST WAY POSSIBLE.
Kimmy is LITERALLY the queen of comebacks. If anybody tried to shoot you down or make fun of your outfit, it would be Kimmy Schmidt to the rescue.
Seriously, her comebacks are just so on point.
Nothing ever gets her down — and positivity is contagious.
Had a bad day? Spilled yogurt on your favorite shirt? Your teacher refused to take you seriously? Got trapped in a bunker for 15 years? Kimmy would be the best at cheering you up with her simple advice and sympathetic hugs. After all, she managed to keep her spirit alive in the bunker all that time. There’s really nothing that can get this girl down.
She wouldn’t be afraid to point out the obvious.
Like, you know, how the freshmen just keep getting smaller and smaller every year, for example. Kimmy has no filter and we love her for it.
She’d be super involved and might even start a new club or two.
I like to think that (based off the look on Kimmy’s face when Jacqueline tossed the unopened water bottle in the trash) Kimmy would’ve been active in her school’s Earth Club, participating in campus cleanups and advocating for recycling. Not only would she make everyone around her happier, she’d make the space around her better, too.
She would inspire all the girls in school and that’s amazing all on its own.
Kimmy is totally a feminist. It’s my favorite thing about her, she’s forever an inspiration for young women everywhere. If Kimmy Schmidt can do it, you can do it. Sometimes it is difficult to be a high school feminist, but Kimmy proudly shares her belief that women can do anything. She firmly believes you can do anything you put your mind to just by taking it ten seconds at a time. Seriously: Where can I get a Kimmy for my school?
She knows how to peace out with the best of them.
The end of every conversation would be a Breakfast Club moment. We could ALL use a friend like that in our lives, right?
She’s honest and would always tell her friends what they need to hear, instead of just what they want to hear.
Everybody needs a best friend who will be honest with them, even when the truth hurts (like when the person you like is being a total jerk, for example). Kimmy would stand by your side and help you get over the “stupid male authority figure” who broke your heart. Huge shoutout to Kimmy for helping teenage girls know their self-worth.
A little of her unbreakableness might rub off on the rest of us.
Last but not least, Kimmy is unbreakable. She’s alive, she’s female, she’s strong. She’s an example and inspiration not just for the girls on campus, but for females everywhere. I would be honored to go to school with the unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt.