Lilian Min
Updated Feb 25, 2015 @ 4:03 pm

Veronica Roth’s Divergent series has got it all: a dystopian society ruled by tyrannical interests, a teen girl protagonist who finds herself plucked out of her normal life and into peril, a totally drool-worthy love interest. Unfortunately, somewhere between the publication of a best-selling trilogy of novels and the release of their first blockbuster film adaptation, I missed the Divergent fandom boat. Sure, I “recognize” butt-kicking Tris and hunky Four. I know that Ansel Elgort’s character is Shailene’s brother (which must have been a little weird for both of them after their epic Fault in Our Stars romance), and that Kate Winslet plays an ice cold villain, but everything I know about the series is from Tumblr GIF sets and my Divergent-obsessed friend’s occasional rants.

Despite that, the new and final trailer for Insurgent, out March 20, looks both technically awesome and also bewilderingly confusing. I’m breaking down Tris and co.’s latest humanity-saving adventure, from the perspective of someone who only kind of knows what’s happening. Enjoy — and let me know how much I got right in the comments.

– That Summit logo just reminds me that I’ve never watched any of the Twilight movies either. #ComeAtMe

– Good to know that there’s so much grass in dystopian… I actually don’t know what this universe is called. Is it just Earth? Is it something that’s basically Earth but isn’t current Earth e.g. Panem?

– Ansel Elgort looks kinda scary. His sis Tris must think so too because she’s about to stab him with those scissors. Just kidding, it’s time for a dramatic hair chop reveal! Beanies are so flattering.

– Was that moment of slow-mo really necessary.

– Octavia Spencer kicks up the Oscar-winning actor percentage in this film by a lot. Is she Tris’ fairy godmother? Except not a fairy, but not a real godmother either… time to let this go.

– That gun is HUGE. I’d expect something like that from The Expendables, not your school library-friendly dystopian YA sci-fi series.

– An appearance by Miles Teller! Shailene Woodley really knows how to keep her former co-stars close. Looks like he’s playing the sarcastic, funny one — seems about right. Man, he was good in Whiplash.

– That one girl walking down the stairs has the COOLEST HAIR. Never thought lavender and Easter yellow would go together. Well done, costume department.

– Kate Winslet is doing her best Star Trek villain impersonation, from the pointed collar down to the strange tech background behind her. Will she accomplish her goal of killing Tris and Four? Why is it always the main couple in the series that gets the full brunt of a villain’s ire? There are other people involved in the Divergent movement, too (right?).

– When I see images of Tris and Four together, I forget that this is supposed to be an action movie. Make out! I would throw some popcorn at my laptop screen, except I don’t have any popcorn and I don’t want to get butter on my screen.

– Who’s that girl? Is she important? She looks like Amy Acker… kind of wish it were.

– There are now kids involved? Lots of kids and people who don’t look like those hardcore Divergent soldiers. Hopefully not-Amy Acker isn’t trying to kill them? Though given the rest of this trailer, that’s probably the case…

– Who is Ansel Elgort talking to? That shot doesn’t connect to the one of short-haired Tris with the child. He also looks super clean compared to the rest of the dirty Divergents. Like, his face practically glows compared to everyone else’s. Angel Elgort, am I right?

– Miles Teller is also glowing. Smiles Teller ☺

– Why is Smiles pointing a gun at Tris?! You guys were super cute together in The Spectacular Now! Is he a bad guy? How did he hide his badness from the rest of the Divergent crew? Why would a trailer give that kind of maybe plot twist away?

– Again with the trains. I remember those from the first Divergent trailer.

– Lots of cutaways! The shot of Tris strung up with those cables reminds me of the “doctor” scene in Prometheus (kids, don’t Google that).

– Ugh, those cables are terrifying. How do they even “plug into” a human, or does Tris have ports like a classical sci-fi android? Is she an android??? As for the cables, are they meant for mind control stuff or downloading memories or to keep her immobilized? Will Tris end up betraying her human comrades, and that’s why Smiles comes after her?

– The special effects in this movie continue to rise above my expectations. That shot where Four fades away into glass is especially gorgeous. Maybe that’s what the white cable room is all about, projecting images of other people?

– Is that flaming room just… floating? It can’t be just floating, can it? Has technology progressed so far that entire rooms can just separate and lift off? And wait, are those the cables from the earlier shot?

– The shot where Tris breaks through the glass looks amazing, but the one right after where it looks like the rest of her surroundings breaks away is… kind of weird? Fuzzy? Is that a maybe-projection of the white cable room? Is that the flaming room falling apart?

– The series logo, with the tilted slice, does look super cool. Way better than The Hunger Games title cards. (I know there’s a real THG logo, but like… does no one in post-production care about this? It just looks SO out of place.)

Some closing thoughts: Wasn’t Maggie Q in the Divergent trailers? Is that a spoiler…? Is Smiles really a bad guy or is Tris the one who goes bad? What the heck is that flaming room and how is it able to fly? What exactly is Octavia Spencer’s role? Will Kate Winslet wear any color besides blue? Guess I’ll have to wait until March 20 to find out. (Or, y’know, I could probably just read the book.)

(Image via here, here, and here.)