Someone subpoenaed all the “Stranger Things” related messages at the Department of Energy and…there are so many

Warning: Stranger Things spoilers ahead

Netflix hit Stranger Things has the Internet buzzing for so many great reasons. Great story, awesome 80s aesthetic, incredible action heroine female leads, and…the Department of Energy?

You read that right. In a series that covers everything from telekinesis to alternate dimensions, the thing the Internet is freaking about today is the Department of Energy.

In the Stranger Things universe, the Department of Energy acts as the ‘front’ for all the evil government officials and their experiments. The ruse allows them to spy in ‘Department of Energy’ marked vans, and have a headquarters at a facility hiding in plain sight. And it’s perfect, because the Department of Energy does sound vaguely important, but not enough that the average person would question its purpose.

But because the Internet’s unofficial motto is ‘let’s take this way too far’, writer Lachlan Markay used the Freedom of Information Act to request all Stranger Things-related messages from the real Department of Energy.

And turns out, there was 163 pages of material. Seriously.

Either DOE employees are secretly binge watching on their lunch breaks, or there is something weirder at play.

And to every fan’s delight it turns out it’s a little of both.

Here are the weirdest/funniest things to come out of this Freedom of Information Act request:

1. The Department of Energy sent a really disturbing email that alluded to developing weapons and conducting experiments on humans in the past

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This is not a movie prop, this is a real email from the Department of Energy. All the redacted lines just make it that much creepier. Just in time for Halloween I guess?

2. The Department of Energy then published a cute listicle ‘clearing their name’.

It outlines important tidbits like that they’re not trying to bring monsters back to our dimension. (Gee, thanks guys! Glad we got that cleared up!) They also did explain that while they are interested in exploring other worlds, they’re primarily interested in outer space and not the ‘upside down’. Although having an adorable listicle published right after a scary email with classified information was sent is exactly what the fictional Department of Energy would do, we kind of love how adorable and earnest their take on all of this is.

3. Several DOE employees got frustrated because they haven’t had a chance to watch Stranger Things yet, and the Freedom of Information Act Request was revealing mad spoilers.

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Are they really spoilers if they’ve had a couple months to catch up though? Not saying we don’t feel for them, but everyone has had a free weekend and access to someone’s Netflix password since July. Come on, guys!

4. The Department of Energy is fiercely ‘Team Barb’.

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Which makes sense, because Barb is the best character. May she rest in peace, or be brought back for some weird supernatural reason in the second season. Preferably the second one, because we love Barb!

You can find the full report with all 163 pages of Stranger Things related material at the bottom of Markay’s article on freebeacon.com, and the full Twitter debacle below. We promise it’s hilarious for no reason other than watching a government organization have to defend itself against its portrayal in a fictional show. That should be enough pages to keep us busy until the second season in 2017!