Why you and your partner should spend Valentine’s Day apart

You might think I’m either totally crazy or disgustingly cynical, because what kind of a person encourages couples to spend Valentine’ Day apart from one another? Don’t be so quick to make such assumptions, though, because I’m not one of those V-Day haters who demands happy couples keep their love to themselves. No, I quite like Valentine’s Day, actually.

However, what I like even more is being innovative with the conventions society throws at us every year, and, yes, I really do think spending Valentine’s Day on your own can do good for your relationship. Before we get started, let me clarify: I don’t mean that the two of you should starkly part ways in the a.m. and refuse to see each other until sunrise on February 15. It doesn’t have to be that strict. Rather, I’m suggesting that you and your SO keep it casual, keep it independent, and you schedule your own days for yourselves.

You’d be surprised at what kind of magic can come out of this unorthodox way of being romantic. Here are five reasons you and your partner should spend Valentine’s Day apart.

You’ll get some quality alone time 

The both of you deserve some time to yourselves, and Valentine’s Day might be the perfect opportunity to make that happen. After all, V-Day is all about love, devotion, and care, right? Well, that doesn’t only mean with your sweetheart. All those nice things should be bestowed upon yourself too.

Schedule some things to do on your own — a solo massage or even a lunch out with your best friends — so when you reunite later on, you’re both feeling rejuvenated and downright happy. The bliss you hold in yourself will come out and land in your SO’s lap, and your relationship will definitely benefit from it.

You can appreciate each other from afar in creative ways

Maybe you send texts of affection to each other or you send each other on a solo scavenger hunt to live out one another’s favorite moments in the relationship. Whatever it is, intentionally being apart for V-day could force you to get innovative with how you show your love for each other.

I find that when I’m away from my boyfriend, I’m a little braver, and I’m able to write him letters (ok, emails, but whatever, I’m a modern woman) beautifully depicting how I feel about him. My social anxiety makes it very difficult for me to say these things out loud, let alone to his face. But being apart opens up those doors and allows me access a whole new corner of romance that I never even knew existed.

Missing each other for a little while can heighten the romance

I have quite a bit of experience with this one. Every couple months, my partner and I intentionally take some time apart; either he’ll go out of town or I will. Sometimes it’s only a few days. Sometimes it’s a few weeks. It’s unconventional — and even frowned upon by some people — but, trust me, it keeps the romance alive.

Even going through one day without seeing each other, especially on a day when you know most couples are together, you’d be surprised at how much you end up craving your SO’s presence. You start thinking about the things you love most about them, their smells, their mannerisms, the weird way they sip their coffee. Just the smallest amount of missing one another will get you all riled up to come back together.

The whole day could be a new form of foreplay 

You know you’re going to see each other again soon, whether it’s late that night or the next day. And, let’s face it, you’re probably going to get down and dirty when you do because, well, that’s what happens when two people in love spend a bit of time apart.

While you’re waiting to jump back in each other’s arms, though, why not make things a little steamy beforehand? Send each other naughty pictures (if you’re comfortable with that, and your relationships has reached that level) and text them flirtatious messages. You’ll end up driving each crazy in the best way possible. There’s no way the sex won’t be mind-blowing once you’re reunited.

There’s no pressure to get the day just right 

A lot of couples report that they get a bit stressed out when it comes nailing Valentine’s Day. They worry whether they’ll bring home the right box of chocolates or make a worthy dinner reservation. It’s a lot to handle — and the both of you have enough stress in your lives. Why dump anymore on your shoulders?!

This way, at least there’s a guarantee that nobody’s feelings will be hurt. You can go off on your own and do exactly what it is you would like to do for Valentine’s Day, no strings attached. You don’t have to worry about how odd your desires and needs might look like to outsiders. Besides, all those silly V-Day rules were precisely made to be broken by you and your sweetie.

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