This year, I’m embracing being single over the holidays

Imagine this.

You’re at a family member’s house. They’re throwing a grand Chrismakwanukkah/New Year’s shindig, and because you don’t want to look completely anti-social, sitting alone in a corner talking to yourself about bills that are due and clothes that need to be washed, you attempt to make small talk. You approach your aunt or second cousin once removed, and after brief introductory conversation, the first thing that comes out of one of their mouth is, “So, are you seeing anyone?”

There it is.

You knew it was inevitable. Here’s what I’d like to say:

Actually, I’m very happy being single at the moment. I recently started a new job and am living in a new city; it’s been a blast just being able to meet people and make new friends. I’m not on the hunt for a boyfriend right now, but if a guy with the personality of Jimmy Fallon and the looks of Chris Hemsworth walks into my life (or bookstore—there’s nothing more sexy than a guy who reads, am I right, ladies?), I am totally open to seeing where things go.

Here’s what I actually end up saying:

Um. . .uh. . .well. . .the thing is. . .

Smooth, Wendi. Real smooth.

I hate this question because one, I don’t really have a one-word answer. And two, since when has my singledom, or anyone else’s for that matter, defined who I am?

I’m turning the big 2-8 in a few months and realize that I am at the age now when a lot most of my friends from grade school, high school and college are getting married. And honestly, I couldn’t be happier for them. I actually cannot wait till I get to that point in my life when I find the man of my dreams, settle down, and start a family.

It’s also a time of year when everywhere you look, couples are sharing cups of hot chocolate, cozying up by the fireplace, and kissing under the mistletoe.

But if you’re single, the unavoidable romance isn’t a bad thing. With the holidays comes many a party and get-together. And with these parties and get-togethers comes the opportunity to reconnect with old friends and meet some really great new people. You never know what could happen. It’s actually one of the most social times of the year, and that’s really fun if you’re up for meeting people.

At the same time, the holidays are a chance to just do you and not worry about someone else. Instead of freaking out about bringing your love home to meet your family, or overthinking the gift your partner gave you, you can enjoy the freedoms that come with flying solo. Being single during the holidays frees you up to do the things you wanted to do before the end of the year—like watch ALL THE THINGS on Netflix. You need and deserve time to focus on yourself. To discover your passions and talents and goals and dreams outside of anybody else. And the holidays are great time to do that.

So ladies—and gents—this year, I give you full permission to embrace being single. Maybe if we all celebrated the joys of being single over the holidays, we wouldn’t care at all about answering those annoying relationship status questions. Because remember, at the end of the day, the only person you have to answer to is yourself. And you’re pretty great—with or without a partner.

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