10 signs you’re in love that you might not even notice at first

We’re all used to hearing that being in love means ~understanding the songs on the radio~ or ~putting somebody else’s needs before your own~ and while all the platitudes might be true, there are also lots of little things that start creeping up on you when you get involved with somebody. Whether you’re already dating them, you’ve just gotten together, or you’ve got a friend who you’re starting to think might be a liiiiittle bit more, here’s a list of the small things that might tell you you’re falling — or have fallen — in love.

1You know whether they prefer tea or coffee, and how they take it.

Let’s be real, coffee and tea make the world go round, and almost all people require one to wake up. It’s such a small, but totally necessary, part of our lives that we mostly don’t pay attention to it — which is why it’s such a huge sign that you’re at least a bit gone on somebody if you picked up on their preference, and committed it to memory without even realizing it. Their small things start to matter to you, for example…

2They’re the first person you want to tell not when something BIG happens, but when something small does.

Obviously you want to tell the people you love when something big and exciting happens in your life that you’re bursting to share, but a quieter, more reliable sign that you’re in love with somebody is when you want to tell them that your coworker didn’t turn in their expense report on time again…and it’s an even better sign when they’re in tune with your life enough to commiserate appropriately.

3You don’t get that FEELING when you think about your exes or past flings.

Everybody has a past, and even if you’re definitely better off without your exes, it’s hard not to think about them with a pang of nostalgia from time to time, y’know? But when you’re ~in love~ with somebody, it’s so much easier to think about them as past. They might even text you, which would usually send you into a mental battlefield of “what should I be feeling?” but now it’s just sort of…not that big of a deal anymore.

4You watch a movie and think “they would LOVE this.”

It’s such a solid sign that you’re in touch with a loved one’s personal taste when you see, hear, or watch something, and know they’ll love it. Is there any better feeling than when your significant other — or even a friend — says, “This made me think of you”? It doesn’t even have to be explicitly romantic. Just the fact that you know them well enough to see them in other things says a lot.

via giphy

5You smile when you see their name pop up on your phone.

Self-explanatory. Gah. So embarrassing.

6You have a mile-long list of inside jokes.

If you really wanted to, you could probably have an entire conversation that would be incomprehensible to the outside world. This tells you not only that you know a ton about the other person, but that you share a sense of humor. Plus, it’s a territorial thing. If you notice that, in group settings, you’re often referencing things that just happened between you and your S.O. (or intended S.O.) that’s probably a pretty heavy sign you’re into them, in case you didn’t know.

7You start to know their friends as well as you know your own.

A byproduct of wanting to maximize the time you spend with them. Also, a sign of a healthy relationship where you maintain your relationships with your friends even though you’re dating somebody, and that neither of you are keeping the other from living a full, well-rounded life.

8Things you usually prefer to do alone, you don’t think twice about inviting them along.

Some things, like grocery shopping, are better done alone. But if there’s somebody in your life who you don’t mind taking with you on what are usually solo tasks, that’s probably, y’know, a big deal.

9You’re genuinely interested in the small, basic facts of their life.

The kind of small talk that you really only entertain out of politeness for most people is interesting with somebody you’re in love with. You genuinely have questions about their day-to-day job, or their family history, or other minutia that is typically hard to really muster up interest in.

10You’re not…trying anymore.

Not in a “oh wow, you really let yourself go” sort of way or a “you forgot my birthday AGAIN” kind of way. We just mean that you’ve past the phase of your relationship where you’re trying to present your best self instead of your real self. You trust the other person to love all of you, not just the best parts. And if you trust somebody with that, then you can probably trust them with anything.

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