Gabrielle Kassel
May 04, 2020 12:34 pm
Advertisement
Getty Images

Nothing gets me more excited than a multi-tasking tool. Case in point: I’m a Young Professional™ with hair down to my butt who still uses three-in-one-shampoo. And I’m horny for a blender with chopping, blending, and liquefying settings. So imagine the sheer glee I felt when a sex toy claiming to be a G-spot, rabbit, clitoral, and wearable vibrator—all in one—arrived on my doorstep. And after trying it, I can’t help but stan The Crescendo, the award-winning bendable, smart vibrator.

Scroll below for my full review—and why I think you need to try it for yourself.

What is the Crescendo, exactly?

At 8.5 inches long and only 1.4 inches wide at its thickest point, the Crescendo looks vaguely like a spatula. Or, a silicone rendition of Harry Potter’s wand when you first take it out of the box. However, it can look like whatever the heck you want it to after you play around with it.

Dominique Karetsos, sexual wellness advisor for MysteryVibe, explains: “Crescendo can literally and effortlessly mold to anyone’s unique shape for a truly personalized experience.” That’s right. This toy is as flexible as a pipe cleaner or a Cirque du Soleil acrobat.

I know what you’re thinking: Vibrators are supposed to vibrate, not bend. Rest assured, this multitasker does both. In fact, while most vibrators only feature one motor, the Crescendo features six motors evenly spaced up and down its length. Meaning it doesn’t just vibrate, it vibrates well. Trust.

The best part? If you’re using the Crescendo internally, rather than fingering and fiddling with the toy’s tiny buttons, you can connect this buzzy babe to the MysteryVibe’s Bluetooth-enabled app, which allows you or your partner to shift between the toy’s sixteen (!!) different pre-programmed intensity settings from up to 30 feet away. A big win for folks like me and my boo who both get clumsy while nearing climax. And for those with limited mobility and dexterity.

With the app, you can also customize your own vibration tunes. From my personal experience, playing a DJ with a vibrator is definitely not the fastest track to orgasm unless you or your partner are Skrillex himself. After all, consistency is key when it comes to cumming. That said, it’s certainly a fun feature.

Why I think you should try the crescendo

Now, as a sex journalist and sex toy reviewer, I’ve tested and evaluated more vibrators in my lifetime (#investigativejournalism) than Guy Fieri has tested tacos. (And as fellow Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives fans know, that’s saying something!) But no vibrator has been as beginner-friendly—especially for couples—as the versatile Crescendo.

And Karetsos agrees. “Whenever you’re buying a new pleasure product, you have to think about what kind of sensations you [and your partner] crave and what toy might help you explore those,” she says. The trouble is, if you’ve never used a sex toy or vibrator by yourself or with a partner before, it’s tough to know if you’d prefer a clitoral vibe to a G-spot toy to a wearable vibrator. And that’s why the Crescendo trumps other toys. “Because the Crescendo is bendable, you can morph it into different shapes and use it to explore a wide range of experiences [and] sensations.”

So if one day you want to stimulate your G-spot or explore squirting, simply curl the toy up, add lube, and slide it inside your vagina. If you want to add clit stimulation to intercourse, just flatten it out and slide it seamlessly between both your bodies. IMHO, it works better during missionary than any other clit vibrator I’ve tried. (And, again, I’ve tried A LOT.)

You can also slide it to the back of your vagina for A-spot or C-spot (that’s the cervix, BTW) play. Or sculpt it into a C shape and use it as a penis stroker.

Mystery Vibe

Or, my personal fave: Use it while 69-ing. Having my #quaratinebae straddle my mouth while stimulating me internally with the Crescendo and externally with their mouth? Fire, fam. Absolute fire.

And those are just a few of the many, many ways to play with the Crescendo. According to Karetsos, there are over 25 different uses for the toy. (To see them all, you can purchase a deck of Crescendo Play Cards with your toy.)

In short, what makes it such a great first-time vibrator for solo play or intercourse is that it’s the exact opposite of a one-trick pony. And while the $149.99 price tag is definitely notable, the Crescendo is still way cheaper than buying a clitoral vibrator, a G-spot vibrator, a rabbit vibrator, and a bullet vibrator individually.

Of course, no toy is one-size-cum-all, but, because there are multiple ways to use this vibrator, chances are you—or you and your partner—will find at least one moan-making use from it. I know I have.