There’s a Sean Spicer talk show in the works, and thanks but no thanks

Providing further proof that we are currently living in a twisted Upside Down or The Darkest Timeline, former White House press secretary Sean Spicer is planning his return to the public eye…with a talk show. Seriously.

The New York Times broke the news that Spicer, who famously struggled to transition to television punditry after exiting the White House, is looking to launch his own talk show, tentatively titled Sean Spicer’s Common Ground. While no network is currently attached to the project, a pilot is reportedly being filmed in July and is backed by major daytime talk syndicator Debmar-Mercury, which is also behind The Wendy Williams Show.

According to the pitch obtained by the Times, Common Ground would see Spicer chatting with notable public figures over a drink “at a local pub or cafe.” The pitch goes on to describe the broad range of topics the “lite conversation” would delve into, including tough conversations surrounding point guards and the heavy-hitting subject of making beds. So like Jerry Seinfeld’s Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee but not as funny or enjoyable or even watchable…?

“The relaxed atmosphere is an ideal setting for Sean to get to know his guests as they discuss everything from the media to marriage, the press release reads.“They might even tangle over the merits of making your bed or the value of a great point guard.

Spicer — whose five-month tenure as White House Press Secretary was at best very tense and at worst downright hostile — confirmed his plans for a talk show to the Times. He said, “In this current environment, I think it’s important to have a platform where we can have civil, respectful, and informative discussions on the issues of the day.”

Yes, Sean Spicer is now apparently a champion of civil discourse. Period.

In the 11 months since Spicer exited the White House — as the very, very brief era of Anthony Scaramucci was just beginning — he has continued to stump for his former employer. Next month, he’s releasing a book recounting his time working for the Trump Administration, reportedly enlisting a documentary crew to follow him on the book tour — meaning if Common Ground doesn’t pan out, there’s always the back-up reality show docuseries. Additionally, just last week, reports surfaced that Spicer joined pro-Trump super PAC America First Action as senior advisor and spokesperson.

We have a feeling it’s going to be a bit of an uphill climb for Spicer, who is best known for his fraught and combative relationship with White House Press Corps, which was parodied numerous times by Melissa McCarthy on Saturday Night Live. The Times reported that Michael Avenatti, the lawyer to Stormy Daniels, was approached by the Common Ground team, but declined to appear, scoffing at Spicer’s attempt to recruit him. That’s right, the guy who has been on every talk show on the planet wants nothing to do with Spicer’s new show.

You do you, Sean, but you should probably take a good, long look in the mirror to decide if this talk show is really something worth pursuing.