Childhood toys that emotionally scarred us for life
Remember these toys? Of course you do. They’re still haunting your nightmares.
Looking back, what the what Furbies? They were 50% battery operated, 50% weird as hell, and 110% absurd. Remember how you had to “feed” them by pressing down on their tongue? Like… what? Did anyone else have a Furby on a shelf that would sometimes, for lack of a better word, “come to life” in the middle of the night and scare the living bejeezus out of you?
That buzzing noise, you guys. THAT BUZZING. Just thinking about it is enough to make you flinch.
As the OG virtual pet, Tamagotchis weren’t all that terrifying. But, the fact that you mourned them like a real living, breathing pet when they died is scary. Sure, you were tween aged, but you were already emotionally attached to a computer chip (and that’s scary foreshadowing).
Growing up, we all had that one baby doll that we loved — and just think about how weird it is for a little three our four year old to be given a baby to plan with. While this concept is startling enough as it is, enter Baby Alive. The thing about Baby Alive is that you were to treat her like a real baby, which means you got to feed her. That also means she’d act like a real baby, and you, as a four year old, needed to change her diaper.
Specifically, male Barbies were terrifying when their heads popped up. This accidental beheading was always frightening, and usually ended in tears. Also, why was it that only the male heads popped off?
Tickle Me Elmo
This was THE Christmas toy of 1996 with many, MANY children receiving it that holiday season. Then you opened up the box and tickled it for the first time, and everything quickly snowballed downhill. Imagine hearing that high-pitched shrill every day, all day, for days on end.
Why were their faces so scary? Why were they so mad?? Why would anyone ever buy one of these to play catch???
Teddy was cool when he was reading you a book. Teddy was not so cool sitting on your shelf, watching your every move from afar, waiting to strike, sometimes blinking.
This one is self explanatory. Worst part is that you can still find them on toy shelves, but at least people are getting creative with their Bratz.
Everyone wanted to get doused with slime on Double Dare. Then, you learned you could actually buy that slime in the form of Gak. Everything about Gak started off awesome, and then it started collecting hair and dust, the texture got all weird, and don’t forget the farting noises (because why WOULDN’T it make farting noises?). Even worse, if you got the green slime stuck in the carpet… game over, kids.