Sarah Hyland opened up about having suicidal thoughts before her second kidney transplant

Sarah Hyland has been increasingly open about her health struggles over the last few years, but she never revealed just how serious the situation, including the second kidney transplant she got in 2017, had become. In a new interview with Self, Hyland detailed her health struggles and various hospital stays over the last two years, including her second kidney transplant, her recent diagnosis with endometriosis, and her struggle with suicidal thoughts.

Hyland was born with kidney dysplasia and, in 2012, underwent a kidney transplant. In October 2016, her body began to reject the donor kidney from her father, so for the next year Hyland said “we did all of these tests and all of these treatments to try and save the kidney,” including a dialysis treatment that made her lose a significant amount of weight. At the time, fans accused her of being anorexic, completely unaware of Hyland’s serious health issues.

She later learned that her brother’s kidney was a match and that she would have to get another kidney transplant. But the idea of another major surgery left her more depressed—specifically because she felt like she was becoming a burden to her family.

"When a family member gives you a second chance at life, and it fails, it almost feels like it's your fault. It's not. But it does," she said. "For a long time, I was contemplating suicide, because I didn't want to fail my little brother like I failed my dad. I had gone through [my whole life] of always being a burden, of always having to be looked after, having to be cared for."

On top of all of this, she was diagnosed with endometriosis and an abdominal hernia, both of which required separate surgeries.

It’s been a little over a year since that second transplant and Hyland told the mag, “I’m stable I’m thriving. I’m super happy with life.”

Our hearts go out to Hyland, who struggled silently for so long. We’re happy to know she’s doing better (and feeling happier) now.

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