Sandra Bullock Won the “Decade of Hotness” Award and I Don’t Know How To Feel About It

Every year, SpikeTV presents an award to the man or woman they think has maintained an impeccable level of beauty for 10 years or more. This prize, called “Decade of Hotness,” has been granted to a handful of celebrities over the years, including Matthew McConaughey, Jennifer Aniston, and Keanu Reeves. This year, Sandra Bullock took the crown and the golden antlers, claiming the spot as “Hottest Woman of the Year.”

Let me begin by saying that I have nothing against Sandra Bullock. Every time I catch The Proposal on TV, I toss the remote across the room and wait for her and Betty White to start dancing to “Get Low.” I mean, Sandra Bullock is practically my spirit animal. (I say practically because Liz Lemon is my actual spirit animal, but she’s not technically real, so I needed a back-up.) In fact, I have nothing against any of the contenders who have accepted this award in the past. Jen Aniston? Keanu Reeves? You might as well rename the award “People I Want To Have Over for A Dinner Party When I’m Not Poor.”

I do, however, have a problem with the “Decade of Hotness” award concept. After all, with thousands of incredibly talented artists, writers, and yodelers out there struggling to gain recognition for their efforts, is it really fair to reward someone based on their physical, outer beauty? A quality that they are more or less born with? It feels like a twisted version of superlatives from high school, except instead of “Most Likely to Change the World” or “Best Facial Hair,” it’s “Best Face” or “Most Likely to Get Carded for Another Ten Years.”

Then again, while one half of me cringes at the notion that we’re handing out trophies for simply “being hot,” the other half of me remembers that beauty, at least in the way that SpikeTV is talking about it, is not entirely genetic. Many of these celebrities have worked hard to maintain their image by following a strict diets and exercising regularly. I can barely motivate myself to turn down a slice of pizza, nevermind establish a workout routine and eating plan. Not to mention, many acting roles demand a certain body image. Christian Bale is known for quickly changing his body weight for roles. Chris Hemsworth has to bulk up every time a Thor sequel is added to the Hollywood lineup. When you come to expect certain body requirements, maybe staying in shape seems like the most logical choice. (You never know when a producer will call you up and ask you to be Batman, so maybe it’s easier to stay fit just in case?)

So I’m split. Are we rewarding these people for taking care of themselves? Or for just being beautiful? (There’s a Miss Congeniality joke waiting to be made there, I’m sure of it.)

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