Rachel Paige
November 21, 2014 10:06 am

Zoolander, the ridiculously outlandish Ben Stiller comedy from 2001 where he plays a model that can’t turn left, has slowly become one of those go-to cult classics. At this point, it’s a movie we can somehow all quote, like 90% of. Well, make a little memorization space in your mental hard drive because Zoolander 2 is coming. I repeat: Zoolander 2 is coming.

Justin Thereoux will be both directing AND writing, Ben Stiller will of course be there too. And cross your fingers — hopefully Will Ferrell and Owen Wilson will return as Mugatu and Hansel respectively. Plus, there are already some other really really ridiculously good-looking people attached to the film: hi, Penelope Cruz. Mums the word on her role so far, but maybe she’ll be the first in a long line of really really ridiculously good looking female models who cross paths with our hero, Derek Zoolander.

A sequel to Zoolander has been word on the street for years (going as far back as 2008), and now feels like the perfect time to kick it into high gear. How much has Zoolander changed? Is he finally a proud working ambi-turner? In case you need a Zoolander refresher to get you even more pumped for the sequel, here are all the crazy insane moments from the first flick that made us laugh out loud for real-real.

He’s a merman.

“Moisture is the essence of wetness, and wetness is the essence of beauty.” What does that even mean? It doesn’t really matter, because this is Derek Zoolander’s life work, and he’s quick to remind everyone that he’s not a mermaid, he’s a merman. A merman!

Mugatu

Fun fact about Mugatu: he invented the piano necktie. Will Ferrel always gives 200% to whatever role he’s playing, and Mugatu is yet another prime example of the beauty that happens when you COMMIT. He is an over-the-top fashion warlord, who is also in charge of an assassination plot. So much yes.

Zoolander’s tiny cell phone.

Bonus points for the fact that it is a tiny flip phone. What will he think of our phones now? How much do I want to see him try to figure out how to work a complicated app?

Eugoogoolizer, noun: one who speaks at funerals.

A sample of said eugoogaly, “Just because we have chiseled abs and stunning features, it doesn’t mean that we too can’t not die in a freak gasoline fight accident.”

Speaking of that freak gasoline fight accident . . .

Yes, it’s very sad, but it’s also hilarious because the boys have just finished a quick Starbucks run for orange mocha frappachinos. Set to WHAM’s “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” it’s hard not to find this scene absolutely ridi-larious (and yes, that’s a word I just made up).

The Derek Zoolander Center For Kids Who Can’t Read Good And Who Wanna Learn to do Other Stuff Good Too

He makes a very good point here. How can they teach children anything in the school if they can’t even fit inside the building?

When Zoolander tries to go work in the coal mines

Zoolander’s dad, (played by Jon Voight) and his brothers, (Vince Vaughn and Judah Freelander), are less than pleased to have him around, even though they all have the same haircut. After one day down in the mines, Zoolander announces that he’s got the black lung.

The Model Walk Off

In the world of male modeling, how are things settled? With a a literal model walk off, of course. It grows more and more absurd as they get further into the competition, but thankfully David Bowie is there to judge the whole thing.

Hansel

“I wasn’t like every other kid, you know, who dreams about being an astronaut, I was always more interested in what bark was made out of on a tree. Richard Gere’s a real hero of mine. Sting. Sting would be another person who’s a hero. The music he’s created over the years, I don’t really listen to it, but the fact that he’s making it, I respect that I care desperately about what I do. Do I know what product I’m selling? No. Do I know what I’m doing today? No. But I’m here, and I’m gonna give it my best shot.”

Matilda

Christine Taylor, and Stiller’s real life wife, plays Matilda who appears to be the only mildly sane one in the movie. This doesn’t stop Zoolander from chastising her for just trying to do her job: “Do you understand that the world does not revolve around you and your do whatever it takes, ruin as many people’s lives, so long as you can make a name for yourself as an investigatory journalist, no matter how many friends you lose or people you leave dead and bloodied along the way, just so long so you can make a name for yourself as an investigatory journalist, no matter how many friends you lose or people you leave dead and bloodied and dying along the way?”

All the cameos!

Stiller has a lot of cool friends, and many of them pop up in this film. Alexander Skasgard plays one of the male models. David Duchovny plays a hand model. James Marsden plays John Wilkes Booth (just go with it). Patton Oswalt is a photographer. Even Winona Ryder stops by for a second. How many more can he fit into Zoolander 2?

Blue Steel

If there’s only one thing that’s managed to work its way into our pop culture lexicon and stay there for good, it’s Blue Steel, Zoolander’s signature move, which is also his only move. Until he unleashes Magnum, which is basically the same thing, but shhh don’t tell.

The fact that there might be more to life than being really really ridiculously good looking.

And if anyone’s going to find out life’s higher meaning, it’s going to be Zoolander. Bring on Zoolander 2! Oh, and, cool story Hansel.

[Images via here, here, here, here, here, here, and here.]

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