Almie Rose
April 30, 2013 10:00 am

Justin Bieber appears to have gotten a tattoo of his ex, Selena Gomez. I say “appears” because he hasn’t confirmed or denied it; but the tattoo bears a resemblance to a portrait of Gomez from a recent photo shoot. Bieber is 19 years old.

Look, for Bieber’s sake, if it is a tattoo of Gomez, I really hope their relationship works out. The odds of this happening, though, are hilariously low. But that’s young love and regrettable tattoos. Maybe even (when) they break up, he won’t regret it. If so, good for him.

Across the world, a young Russian woman named Lesya got a tattoo done by her boyfriend, of her boyfriend’s name (Rouslan Toumaniantz)… across her entire face.

They’ve been communicating online since 2009. She got the tattoo about 24 hours after meeting in person.

The couple says that they are very happy and will marry. Toumaniantz is planning to take Lesya on as an apprentice, so she too can some day tattoo someone’s face off.

Look, despite what some readers may think, I am not a judgmental person. I don’t care if you want to eat your placenta or sell your underwear. I don’t know you; why would I judge? Why would I care?

I have to admit, though, that I can’t help but judge this face tattoo. Not so much the tattoo itself; again, I don’t care what you do to your face. But I judge the decision. I can’t help it. Does some of it have to do with the fact that she’s a beautiful girl? Yeah, honestly, it does. Should that matter? No. But come on, most of us see this and think, “Oh man, she was so pretty!” as if that’s a measure of a person. And she clearly doesn’t care. She defines beauty in her own way. And I even think there’s now a different sort of beauty added to her look; the look of a harsh tattoo on a pretty, innocent-looking face. But we’re so conditioned to see beauty in a very specific form that it’s natural to see this and think, “She ruined her pretty face.” But that’s an entirely different article.

Anyway, why do I see these tattoos and feel a twinge of judgement? Because there are certain things you see young people that make you go into Michael Bluth mode and think, “[They’ve] made a huge mistake.” I say “young people” like I’m in my early ’80s, gossiping with my gardening club. I don’t think I’m invincible to young stupidity. I’m still young and I’m still going to make some really stupid mistakes.

But I will never tattoo my body with the name of a boy I like. I don’t care if we’re deeply in love and married. Not gonna happen. I will never get a tattoo with the name of another person. They say the unspoken tattoo law is to never get a name tattooed on your body unless it’s the name of your parent/s, children or pets. Do you HAVE to follow this “law”? Of course not. I don’t care. You can go for it. If it has meaning to you, it’s beautiful, no matter what.

What I’m saying is that it is a really, really permanent declaration of love. Especially on the face. Do you have any idea how what an expensive, painful and long process it is to remove a facial tattoo? I do. I looked it up. Yahoo News did a story about a former skinhead who wanted to remove his hateful face tattoos. It cost $35,000 and took 25 surgeries over 16 months. The pain was so bad that they had to put him under anesthesia. Keep in mind, this is a person who has been beaten in prison to the brink of death. He knows pain.

Bieber has enough money where he could easily get the tattoo removed or changed. A lot of other young people aren’t as lucky.

My favorite regrettable tattoo would be Johnny Depp’s “Winona Forever” tattoo. Back in what seems now like the 1890s, Johnny Depp and Winona Ryder dated.

After their break up, he changed the tattoo to “Wino Forever.” Which is maybe my favorite example of “lemons into lemonade” ever.

The lesson here is, think before you tat, especially when you’re young and in love.

Or don’t, who cares, it’s your life. But do you really want to do something that Justin Bieber did?

Images via x17onlineTheAge.au, Hollyscoop, Dailycaller.com, BME.com

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