jessica tholmer
September 01, 2013 8:00 am

Cowabunga, it is (almost) fall! Can you even believe it? Before we get started, I would like to point out that when writing these, I spotlight the latter part of the month’s zodiac sign. There were quite a few sassy Leos (like myself) who seemed to think talking about Virgoes in August wasn’t fair, but I assure you, it is. Months are to be shared with two signs. Sharing is caring. Last month, we spotlighted Virgo, this month it is the lovely Libran. Spread the love, ya’ll.

Written in the Stars: September 2013 Horoscopes

Libra

You know that quote about dancing like no one is watching? Well, someone is always watching, Libra. I don’t mean god, unless that is your belief, he could apply here as well. I simply mean that no one is ever truly alone. You, more than most people, have those days when you feel utterly solitary, and you have those days where you feel completely stuck in a crowded room. It is enough to make a kind soul like yourself go nuts, I am sure of it. This is the way life will be for you, always. So dance, sweet Libra. Even if everyone is watching.

Famous Libras: Kim Kardashian, Matt Damon, Lil Wayne, Will Smith, Bruno Mars, Avril Lavigne, Gwen Stefani, and the lovely Gwyneth Paltrow. (And my bff Megan French.) pepper

Scorpio

I cannot believe I am saying this, but it is autumn now. I hear the rain pounding outside my window as I write. To be honest, I always hesitate when speaking to a Scorpio. I am never as self-conscious. I second guess my word choice, and my comma usage. There is something so beautifully complex about a Scorpio. Something no one can ever quite put their finger on. It is like the rain on a summer night. That inevitability. The refreshing newness. The familiarity. Scorpio, you are like a late summer rain. Take that knowledge, that power and change the world. You are what the crops need.

Sagittarius

Go pick a flower, or construct one with your elementary school craftsmanship skills. Now think of the biggest dilemma in your present day life. Pluck a petal. “He loves me, he loves me not.” Now this doesn’t have to apply to relationships. It can be “I get the job, I get the job not,” or “I’ll move to LA, I’ll move to LA not.” Regardless of what choice is sitting in front of you, sometimes it takes a simple solution. Ask a magic 8 ball, wish on a star, pluck the leaves of a flower, just believe. You complicate too much, too often. It does not have to be so hard.

Capricorn

Oh, you sly Capricorn. Did you know if you google Batman’s zodiac sign, it is pretty much split between either Scorpio or Capricorn? Well personally, I see the superhero as a Cappy. Think about it: Batman is an ordinary guy, with a passion for helping his town. He does not make a huge ruckus, but he gets a lot of attention, and everyone cares what he thinks. Sound familiar? You are a superhero too, Capricorn. Apply yourself. Save a life. We all care what you think.

Aquarius

You would never go skydiving, huh? That seems ludicrous to an intelligent human being like yourself. Why jump out of a plane? Why would anyone do something so incredibly counter-intuitive?

Because it is invigorating. Because adrenaline rushes are incredible. Because you never know what thoughts will cross your mind as you are plummeting to what feels like your death.

Go skydiving. You need the rush.

Pisces

Someone told me long ago: there’s a calm before the storm, and I know! It’s been coming for some time. CCR has a million songs that we all know, but they never had a number one hit. Can you believe that? Regardless of their ranking on a billboard chart however, their words and legacy ring true for you. You are in the calm before a storm right now, but even when the storm comes, it will be okay. You specifically, sweet little fishy, need a storm to learn from. Calm never works for you anyway.

Just please do not miss the lesson because you are not paying attention to the right things. You deserve everything that is coming your way. Accept the turmoil, but please also accept the calm. You can have the good with the bad.

(And it’s okay to only be number 2 sometimes.)

Aries

Call your mother, or your father, or if you can, call them both. I know an Aries does not think there is much that he or she does not already know, but there sure is. Did you know on the astrological wheel, Aries is first born? You are the infant, sweetie. That is not negative, or it does not have to be, but you must open your eyes, ears, heart, and mind to learn from your elders. And as the infant, everyone is your elder. Let yourself learn something this month.

Taurus

You have wronged someone, likely multiple people, this past summer. Some of those people mean nothing to you. They provide such insignificance to your life that I do not think you even realize that you have hurt them. Apologize anyway.

And then there are the people who mean the whole world to you. You have hurt them too. Apologize to them, as well.

When you start letting your stubborn, high walls down, you will realize that being right will never feel as good as making amends. You will get the apologies you have been waiting for, as well. Two wrongs don’t make a right. Be the bigger person.

Gemini

Your heart is gigantic. Some people in your life may not know that about you, for you are bold and demanding. But characteristics do not have to be limited categorically. You can be kind, but blunt; caring, but harsh. And you, my double-sided Gemini, are a huge contradiction of yourself. Show someone your heart this month. They need to feel it.

Cancer

Water signs are supposed to be open and emotional and understanding and moody. You have not been much of any of that lately (well, maybe moody). You have been withdrawn and different. You have not much felt like yourself, have you? It is the time of year, though. Season changes are hard for everyone, but especially for a water sign. It just isn’t your forte. You belong in the middle of a deep lake, already submerged in life, not at the shallow end of one. Be patient. The middle of the season is coming, you will feel whole again. Don’t you worry ’bout a thing.

Leo

Though I am admittedly extremely biased when it comes to speaking about a Leo, I believe that we (Leos) are the fiery-est of the fire signs. Our passion is the strongest, our voices the loudest, our…bad tempers the baddest. But these past few months have been different, huh? You may have experienced big, big changes that should have affected you to your very core, but for whatever reason, you have felt passionless. You have felt–dare I say it?–indifferent. Indifference is not something Leos are familiar with, but there is no real reason to worry. Your interest is on its way back in. It will just take a new force in your life to remind you. It’s on the way. Your life has been building up to this moment.

Virgo

You are the most patient person alive, dear Virgo. Everything you have waited for will be worth it. But you already know that, don’t you? Focus your energies on something other than dwelling. Take your mother out to lunch, buy your best friend a beer, sing your favorite song at karaoke. Your efforts are not unnoticed, even when they seem like they might be.

We are all paying attention to you, I promise.

Featured image via paradacreations, Pepper Potts image via yavengers.

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