jessica tholmer
October 01, 2013 8:04 am

It is Halloween month, so obviously we are going to do a costume edition of horoscopes. Can’t decide what you want to be for the holiday? Let me help you out. Welcome to a very special edition of Written in the Stars!

Scorpio We say you are mysterious and private and brilliant and fascinating. Not only that, but Halloween falls in the time of the Scorpio. It is YOUR time to shine. What better costume than someone that shares all of your phenomenal personality traits?

David Bowie.

Other famous Scorpions: Katy Perry, Drake, Carly Rae Jepsen, Emma Stone, Kendall Jenner, Ryan Gosling, Anne Hathaway, and the love of my life–Leonardo DiCaprio.

Sagittarius My mother, who is a Sagittarius through and through, always claims that her sign is the “most sought out” in all of the zodiac. I have never quite confirmed what she means upon saying that, but I have settled upon it being part of a Sagittarius mindset. Sagittariuses are mutable–meaning you can get along with pretty much everyone if you so choose to accept them. You have the ability to adapt to your surroundings. You can be anyone or anything you wish to be–a comedian, a singer, a dancer, a writer–

–like Justin Timberlake. Back-up costume: a centaur, obviously.

Capricorn Dearest Capricorn. You and your beautiful introverted soul probably aren’t even all that interested in Halloween parties most of the time, huh? I understand, but being loud and outgoing every so often is not the worst idea. Put on your costume and ring in the night with your friends.

Go as fellow Capricorn Michelle Obama.

Aquarius Being the smartest person in the room probably gets tough at parties, unless you hang out with a bunch of other intellectuals. Knowing you, Water Bearer, you probably do. If you are constantly representing your sign, you have likely gone to Halloween parties as politicians, famous authors, or Leslie Knope/Liz Lemon type characters. I would never suggest otherwise. Your costume idea this year?

JK Rowling. But not Harry Potter JK Rowling. Casual Vacancy JK Rowling.

Pisces You have the ability to be totally unexpected. You have the ability to shock and awe. You have the ability to really steer away from the path everyone assumes you will take. Everyone in your life thinks that they know you better than you know yourself. This year, prove them wrong. Start with your halloween costume.

Go as something creative–like a hipster Disney princess. A new spin on an old classic!

Aries You are already always the center of attention, you charming Ram of a human being. What difference should Halloween make? You could literally walk into a Halloween party with a sheet over your head, claim to be a ghost, and still win the Halloween costume. Don’t be lazy, though. You rely on what you already know without pushing yourself any further–in all aspects of your life, not just in costuming. Try something new this holiday season. Go as something you don’t understand, or would like to learn more about. 

If you are the fun loving, lighthearted kind of Aries, go as a badass superhero like Catwoman. If you are already a toughie, go as a fairy princess. You will have so much fun.

Taurus You may not be the biggest fan of Halloween parties, am I right? Well lighten up and have a good time this year. Even if it is not a party you are attending, even if you are taking your kids or your friends’ kids out on the town to rake in the candy coated fun, I beg of you to enjoy yourself. You know who always has fun? Blondes, right?

Go as Dolly Parton, or Marilyn Monroe.  

Gemini

There are so many choices for a Gemini when it comes to Halloween costumes. Why is that? You are so multifaceted! You are almost literally two personalities! Obviously what I encourage you to do is find a friend and go in a duo costume. And obviously because Halloween is supposed to be scary, I am going to highly encourage you to go as:

the twins from The Shining. Come on, it will be so fun.

Cancer The seaweed is always greener in somebody else’s lake, Cancer. You have been feeling that often as of late, and there is nothing wrong with that. There is no problem with allowing yourself (on great occasion) to wallow in self-pity. The holidays–even starting as early as Halloween–are a perfect time to focus on the negative, but I will suggest not allowing yourself to bury yourself too deep in that rabbit hole. 

Speaking of rabbit holes, sweet Alice ala Alice in Wonderland is your perfect Halloween costume this year.

Leo I know for a fact that Jennifer Lawrence is a Leo, and I have an inkling that she is drawn to choosing fiery, strong, independent female roles because of that fact. Leos like Miss J Law and like yourself, are feisty and strong at all times of the year–even in your weakest moments. Don’t let Halloween take that away from you. Speaking of Lawrence…

…you should probably go as Katniss Everdeen this year. And then you can reuse your costume for the premiere of Catching Fire in November!

Virgo I do not think that every single zodiac sign should necessarily dress as someone who shares their sign. However with you in particular sweet Virgo, I think going as the queen of Virgos will create an unforgettable Halloween. Who is your Virgo queen? Someone with just as much spunk and sass and malleability as yourself, of course. 

Go as “Like a Virgin” era Madonna. Duh.

Libra Last but certainly never least. I always say “everybody loves a Libra,” and on Halloween, it shall be no different. Everyone loves you, everyone loves a balanced and honorable friend. You could consider an obvious approach to Halloween–something literal like a courtroom judge (you are scales, after all), but you could also branch out and represent your sign in another way. There are a ton of musical Libras–if you remember last month’s horoscopes. Consider grabbing a friend and duo-ing a famous celebrity couple.

Will (Libra) and Jada? Or my preference–Kanye and Kim (Libra). You could even have someone represent North West. It will be the cutest.

As always, kiddos. Have a safe and wonderful holiday. Don’t drink and drive, and don’t steal candy from children.

Featured image via , hipster Snow White image via logalore, Kimye in Paris image via eonline.

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