Santina Muha
April 07, 2013 9:00 am

When I was in grade school, our teacher used to let us play Saved by the Bell in art class. Each of the girls would shout out which character they were, and some of the boys would do the same. That was pretty much the extent of the game. One day I came prepared in overalls with one side unclasped so that they would have no choice but to let me be Kelly. But other days, the boy I liked would pick Slater so then I would be Jessie. It was a harder life back then…

So, if we were in elementary school art class right now and someone asked you, “Which Saved by the Bell babe are you?,” who would you pick?!

Kelly Kapowski (played by Tiffani [Amber] Thiessen): “Beat-b-b-b-beat, Go Bayside!”

We have to start with the quintessential hottest high school chick, in my opinion, ever. Her style was totally ’80s, but when you watch the show in reruns, her look still holds up. Unlike many typical “most popular girl in school” characters, Kelly was sweet, honest and virginal. She wasn’t a genius, but she wasn’t a bimbo, either. She was head cheerleader and captain of many teams. She ended up marrying her high school sweetheart, but she definitely dabbled with love in between, dating her favorite TV star (until she realized he smoked pot), her college boy boss from The Max (until she realized he was a cheating creepazoid) and her professor in college (until she realized Zack was the “one” for real), among a few others. For the most part, this Bayside babe was innocent. She did cheat on Zack, but she felt really bad about it. She was a loving older sister and devoted daughter – and the most supportive ex-girlfriend anyone could have.

Jessie Spano (played by Elizabeth Berkley): “You know what they say – big muscles, small brains.”

Jessie was the smartest girl of the group, but she was no stranger to doing stupid things. She took a play rehearsal kiss with her best friend’s boyfriend too far, she tried to sabotage her new step-brother’s life and, of course, say it with me now, she became addicted to caffeine pills. A pivotal part of the Hot Sundaes and a sometimes part of the cheerleading squad, school radio show, glee club and more, Jessie kept herself busy with more than just academics. She was constantly getting into trouble by the adults for fighting for what she believed in, which was usually environmental or feminist rights related. Still, she spent most of her high school days loving her machismo boyfriend AC Slater. She struggled with her height throughout her years at Bayside. Somewhere along the line, Jessie left the crew for bigger and better things, but she did make it to Zack and Kelly’s wedding in the nick of time.

Lisa Turtle (played by Lark Voorhies): “15 seconds? I can’t even get to the bottom of my purse in 15 seconds.”

Lisa was a sassy one. She was seriously into fashion and shopping. Out of all of her friends, she was the most willing to date outside of the group. The only child of rich parents, Lisa was spoiled and proud of it. One summer when all of her friends were working at a beach club, she was there with them, except she was a member. She had heart, though, and potential to make her doctor parents proud someday. She spent most of her high school life trying to avoid Screech’s geeky crush on her, even though she could never fully reject him without feeling sorry for the dweeb. You couldn’t get anything past her. She told it like it was. And she was the only one who stuck around long enough to get to know Tori.

Tori Scott (played by Leanna Creel): “Should I be impressed?”…”Well I’m not.”

Tori joined Bayside way late. I’m not sure where she came from or why, but there she was. Tori was a tomboy with a rough attitude, but she quickly developed a school girl crush on her arch nemesis for a day, Zack. She tried to be uber feminine but that just wasn’t her, and so she quickly put back on her motorcycle riding leather jacket, and scored the boy anyway. Tori had a “know-it-all” attitude, but would admit to being wrong when she was proved so. She was a killer mechanic, an awesome graduation song lyricist and a pretty good doo-wop lip syncher.

Stacey Carosi (played by Leah Remini): “Don’t worry daddy – I’ll give him a lot of close, personal attention.”

I know she was only on six episodes, but they replayed that summer season so many times I feel like I know Stacey so well. She was from New York and flew out to Cali for the summer to help her Papa Bear run the Malibu Sands Beach Club. She had an east coast attitude which clashed with Zack’s surfer dude persona, but ultimately opposites attracted and they had a summer romance. Stacey was a daddy’s girl, but knew when to stand up for herself and put Mr. Carosi in his place. She was a no nonsense tough chick with a soft spot for her friends and family.

I realize this show is long off the air, but what can I say? It holds up. It portrays high school drama in a more innocent way than we’ll probably ever see on television again. So, which Saved by the Bell babe are you?!

Images via fanpop.com, collegefashion.net

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