Gina Vaynshteyn
June 09, 2013 11:00 am

The third season finale is coming and I am feeling ALL the feelings. Arya, I so wanted a reunion between you and your remaining family. Sansa, I worry for your mental well-being every day under House Lannister. Margaery, I know you’re up to something, and I think I like it. Daenerys, you are everything I ever wanted to be and more; I hope you recruit more soldiers and show King Joffrey who’s the BOSS LADY. I can’t believe this season is wrapping up. There is just so much that has HAPPENED.

But before you go on an Amazon binge and buy all the books because you can’t stand not knowing what the future holds for our beloved characters or can’t take the separation from Game of Thrones for longer than a week (Memorial Day weekend was SO BRUTAL), let’s take this quiz and see which GoT protagonist you most identify with. And pray they’re not killed off this Sunday.

 1. You order your steak medium rare at a restaurant but they bring rare; blood makes a pool on your plate and it’s so animal. You:

a)    Scream at the server and demand they not only grill you a new steak, but get on their hands and knees and beg for forgiveness.

b)   Eat it for strength. You’ve been kind of tired lately, and who says you can’t handle a little bit of blood and iron?

c)    Send it back but make a hilarious sexual innuendo concerning meat.

d)   Eat it like it’s no big thing and share some with other guests who seem hungry.

e)    Smile at the server and sweetly ask if they could grill the steak a bit longer. Suggest a free dessert to compensate for all the trouble.

2. Your date stands you up at the movies for the second time, but totally booty-calls you at midnight. You:

a)    Text them back with a snark reply and delete their number forever. You pity them for their stupidity.

b)   Answer with a “hell yes, let’s meet!”

c)    Show up and light their stupid car on fire. No one messes with you more than once.

d)   Show up, show them the best time of their lives and abandon them in the middle of the night.      You got what you wanted, and now you have them on their knees.

e)    Show up and scream what a worthless pile of steaming crap they are. Hire body guards to do the dirty work.

3. If someone was asked to described your sense of style, it would be:

a)    Boyish. You like jersey tees and boyfriend jeans.

b)   Anything that will get you laid.

c)    Belly shirts from The Gap.

d)   Gucci. A touch of Armani. Definitely Prada. Very regal.

e)    Bohemian, you love flowy skirts and Grecian-esque dresses. You love shopping at Free People.

4. How do you feel about family?

a)    You don’t remember your mother or father well. They died awhile back. You have a rocky relationship with your brothers and sisters; they’re hard to trust and sometimes use you.

b)   You technically love your family, but you are not afraid to put them in their place. You are better than them, after all.

c)    You resent your family. They have always treated you like the runt.

d)   You want to be best friends and on good terms with everyone, even if your future mother-in-law hates your guts.

e)    You love your family so much you want to be with them at all times. “Loyalty” is a tattoo you have been thinking about getting.

5. If you could pick a dream pet, what would it be?

a)    A wolf.

b)   A fox.

c)    Pet? As in a boyfriend?

d)   A few dragons.

e)    Suffering human beings.

6. Your late to class AGAIN and your teacher totally calls you out. You:

a)  Apologize nicely. Smile and secretly plan to befriend the teacher and get them on your good side.

b)   Tell them they’re an insufferable, good-for-nothing loser who only thinks they’re better than you just because they have their PhD. Walk straight to the principal’s office and demand to have your teacher fired for incompetency.

c)    You are never late to anything. You would never disrespect someone like that after so many people have disrespected you.

d)   Flirt with the teacher and hope they’ll just forget about all of this.

e)    Playfully sass your teacher and apologize for being late.

 7. Your car breaks down the highway! You:

a)    Call your father and demand to know why he bought you such a piece of sh*t vehicle.

b)   Carefully ask for help from strangers. You have pepper spray in case anyone tries anything stupid.

c)    Attempt to fix it and sadly wonder if this happened to you because you’re unloved.

d)   Ask for help from a handsome stranger and accept the dinner date when he asks. You’re starving after all that work!

e)    Inspect it and fix it yourself. You don’t need anyone’s help.

8. You go through airport security and the alarm goes off. The TSA finds:

a)    Alcohol. Oops.

b)   A sword. You never know.

c)    A cross-bow.

d)   A lighter.

e)    Your boyfriend’s weapons. You sweet-talk your way out of it though, claiming you knew nothing about them.

9. One of your co-workers is head-over-heels in love with you. You, on the other hand, don’t feel the same way. You:

a)    Befriend them and use their devotion to your advantage.

b)   Bluntly inform them that they have cooties.

c)    Tell them if they have go near you again, that you will hire someone to kick their ass.

d)   Agree to go on a date. You never know.

e)    Are stunned someone could possibly be in love with you.

10. Your best friend is getting married before you. You:

a)    Are extremely excited. Free cake and dancing! You wonder if you can wear pants.

b)   Sabotage the wedding. Plan to make inappropriate toasts and threaten to ruin the honeymoon somehow.

c)    Be extremely happy for them, but morn the loss of your first love.

d)   Happily attend with a date and network away.

e)    Become bitter. This could have been you. If you were more beautiful. Smarter. Taller. Ugh.

Quiz Key:

  1. If you answered A = 5 points, B= 3 points, C= 4 points, D=1 points, E=2 points
  2. If you answered A=1 points, B=4 points, C=3 points, D= 2 points, E=5 points
  3. If you answered A=1 point, B= 4 points, C=2 points, D=5 points, E=3 points
  4. If you answered A=3 points, B=5 points, C=4 points, D=2 points, E=1 point
  5. If you answered A=1 point, B=2 points, C=4 points, D=3 points, E=5 points
  6. If you answered A=2 points, B=5 points, C=3 points, D=4 points and E=1 point
  7. If you answered A=5 points, B=3 points, C=4 points, D=2 points, E=1 point
  8. If you answered A=4 points, B=1 point C=5 points D=3 points E=2 points
  9. If you answered A= 3 points, B=1 point, C=5 points, D=2 points, E=4 points
  10.  If you answered A= 1 point, B=5 points, C=3 points, D=2 points, E=4 points

If you scored a 10-18, you are Arya Stark

Arya Stark learned everything from her mother, father, and Syrio. She learned to fight honestly and vigorously, but above all, she learned loyalty and kindness. This isn’t to say Arya wouldn’t kill someone if they posed as an immediate threat, but she is not a killer at heart. Arya is a wonderful friend, sister, and daughter. She’s tough and scrappy, but means well.

If you scored 18-26, you are Margaery Tyrell

Margaery Tyrell is extremely clever, and uses her sensuality to her utmost advantage. If you can’t beat them, join them, but don’t let anyone take advantage of you. Margaery’s main goal is to get ahead of the game. She’s sweet and benevolent, but manipulative in her own way. Margaery loves girl talk, and makes an excellent friend. Don’t get too close, though.

If you scored 27-35, you are Daenerys Targaryen

Daenerys Targaryen is a bad ass. She has suffered a spell of heart ache: her brother sold her, her husband and unborn child died, her handmaiden betrayed her, and she almost lost everything. Dany understands the value of trust. She is a good person and leader, and isn’t afraid to ask for help, but if you cross her you’ll get burned. Literally. The Khaleesi is beautiful and desired by many, but as for right now, she has her eyes on  the prize: the Seven Kingdoms.

If you scored 36-44 you are Tyrion Lannister

Poor Tyrion Lannister is arguably the most loveable character in The Game of Thrones. Tyrion has been betrayed by his own family and everyone is convinced he killed his mother during child birth.  But Tyrion loves a good joke; his smooth talking can get him out of anything (almost). He also loves a drink or two or three now and then; it’s his way to escape reality, which is often times horrible.  His weakness? Women. Specifically whores, but what can you do? Love is love.

If you scored a 44-50 you are Joffrey Baratheon 

King Joffrey is pure evil. And a coward. He kills for sport, but is too scared to fight in a war for his own people. Far too young, immature, and mentally deranged, there is no reason why Joffrey should be king. Oh, and he’s totally not related to Robert Baratheon because his mom and uncle CREATED HIM, making him so very inbred and therefore ineligible for the iron throne. And cray cray. Joffrey Baratheon is a violent brat and probably learned his behavior from his mean mom, Cersei.

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