Rachel Paige
July 21, 2016 11:37 am
Disney, HelloGiggles

Game of Thrones has dragons, white walkers, Children of the Forest, direwolves, giants, and a handful of other, wonderful creasutres you don’t see in every day life. Know what kind of creatures they are straight up missing? MERMAIDS. It’s about time some merfolk invaded Westeros, but not in like, a quest to claim the Iron Throne. Just to visit…or maybe play the great game themselves.

For today’s, “So Bizarre It Just Might Happen Game of Thrones” theory, let’s throw it out there that Varys just might be a mermaid.

But who cares, no big deal, we want mooorrreeee….

This theory dates back a few years, but hey, we’re in a Game of Thrones lull right now until, ugh who knows when next summer. This theory springs from the books, not the show, so you know it’s got some merit to it. Merpeople have been referenced before in the books, yet no one has come in contact with a mermaid, or merman. Or have they?

In a video posted to YouTube by Tinfoil Fan Theories, they note that, “Vary’s smile is described as ‘slimy’. He is bald, his body large and lumpy, almost fish-like….Varys’ body is large and he wears long flowing robes. It is the perfect disguise with which to hide a lower aquatic body. We’ve never seen Varys’ feet  just the bottom of his robes as he glides along the ground.”

Of course, to wander around King’s Landing, Varys has got to have feet, because flipping his fins won’t get him very far. But remember, he’s also a eunuch…but might the real reason for him not having anything down there be because at one point, it was a FIN?

Yes, weird. But also… now that you’re thinking about it, not so far out there. With this theory, though, what exactly IS Varys’ endgame?

“[He has] supplied Dany with dragon eggs, putting [himself] firmly on the side of fire, against the coming winter. But when summer comes, the ice must melt. Does Varys plan on using the dragons to melt the Wall and so flood Westeros to create more living space for the Merlings and a supply of dead humans for them to feast upon?”

OMG IS VARYS SECRETLY PLANNING A MERMAID UPRISING IN WESTEROS??

And if that’s not a plotline for the upcoming Game of Thrones season, it should definitely be a spin-off series. We would watch the hell out of that.

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