Rachel Paige
December 07, 2016 10:35 am
Ron Batzdorff/NBC

If there’s one thing we learned during the first half of the first season of This Is Us, it is that life is fragile and we should hold onto it tight with both hands because you never know when This Is Us life is going to viciously rip it away from us, and leave us crying alone in your living rooms.

Come on, did you really think This Is Us would end their fall finale with everyone smiling, sittin’ round the Christmas tree opening presents like one big happy family? This is This Is Us. A show that has already given us SO MANY TWISTS, and surprises, and deaths.

So what’s the big This Is Us twist this time? Is it that William is actually gay (!!!!!!!!!!!!!)? Is it that Kevin and Sloane might actually be the *perfect* pair? Is it the return of Dr. K, who will now live to see another day and deliver even more babies? Is it the fact that Randall almost has to watch someone commit suicide, before talking his friend, literally, off a cliff?

Nope. It’s much bigger, and so much more heartbreaking: At the end of the hour, Toby shows up to surprise Kate. He makes some grand speech about how he can live without pizza, but he cannot live without Kate. The two make up, kiss a lot (have sex), and then Toby has a heart attack.

Ron Batzdorff/NBC

But hold on, didn’t we just learn that nothing bad happens on Christmas Eve for the Pearsons?  That streak appears to be over. Like This Is Us has tricked us so many times before, and the very end of the episode we *think* we’re watching Dr. K come out of his surgery in the past, and he pulls through!

But what we’re actually watching is Toby crash on the operating table, and it sure looks like he does not survive his post-heart attack operation.

And now we have to wait until January 10th, 2017 to figure out whether or not Toby makes it! GAH!

When asked about his fate, the man behind Toby, Chris Sullivan, told Entertainment Weekly that dead or alive, “he’s definitely one or the other. You know what I mean? He might be dead. We don’t know.”

This is not very reassuring at all. Kate’s already had so many heartbreaks and struggles throughout these last ten episodes. Don’t make her go into Episode 11 — and beyond — without Toby. #PrayForToby.