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Credit: HBO

Game of Thrones appears to be a national phenomenon. But it’s a phenomenon that I have somehow managed to avoid. Here at HelloGiggles we write about the show A LOT, so I’m not a total dummie when it comes to the show. I know Emilia Clarke wears a white wig. I know who Jon Snow is, because he’s hot. I know people have accents and the show is bloody. But that’s about it.

I don’t watch Game of Thrones but I’m going to explain the season finale to you anyway, for some reason.

**There could be spoilers, or there could not be. I have literally no idea.**

We open in Italy, or Greece, or somewhere.

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Credit: HBO

The girl from Hunger Games grew back the other half of her hair.

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Omigod this guy is being tried for being gay?! That’s so sad and unfair. 😔

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Credit: HBO

NOT Robin Wright Penn doesn’t want to go to her own trial. She’s just sipping on some cabernet.

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Credit: HBO / giphy.com

A bunch of kids just killed this old man and I have no idea why. What is this, a child army!?

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Credit: HBO

Omigog NOT-Robin Wright Penn just exploded the entire city with green goo? Green fire? Ectoplasm? what IS this stuff!?

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NOT Robin Wright Penn says “Shame” a bunch of times.

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Credit: HBO

Oh no! The little boy king (or prince?) jumps out the window!

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Credit: HBO

Nikolaj Coster-Waldau wing-mans for his bro, but his bro is like, “Nah, all the ladies want you because of your dope bone structure.”

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Credit: HBO

A young hipster family visits a library.

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Something about a horse toy?

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Red head tells Jon “bae” Snow, that “winter is here” and then bae smiles. Apparently winter is a good thing.

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Credit: HBO / giphy.com

The girl from Whale Rider works in like, some kind of all girl castle and they all discuss…something?

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Credit: HBO

Emilia Clarke breaks up with her secret lover because she needs to marry someone new in Westeros. They don’t cry or really seem to care about it at all?

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Credit: HBO

This girl gives this old man a pie made from his own sons! And then she pulls off her face and she’s a different girl and then she slits his throat!

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Credit: HBO / giphy

Silver fox guy tries to kiss the red head but she friend-zones him.

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The little boy who can’t walk has a flashback and finds out that Jon Snow is actually this dude’s sister’s son?

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This fierce little girl kicks off some meeting and then everyone nominates Jon Snow to be King of the North.

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Credit: HBO

NOT Robin Wright Penn becomes Queen and nobody seems that stoked about it.

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Credit: HBO

Emilia Clarke and 1 million ships and some dragons go somewhere.

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Credit: HBO / giphy.com

And that’s it! Until next season, or not, I have no idea how much more of this there is.