This Is Us - Season 1
Credit: Ron Batzdorff/NBC

Just when you thought it was okay to watch This Is Us without the fear of crying hysterically through the whole thing…ugh. Is there any episode during this first season that won’t completely wreck our emotions?

Following the first huge twist of the season (they’re all related!), and the second huge twist of the season (in the future, Jack is out of the picture!), we’ve got our first big secret:

If you remember back in the pilot episode, Randall’s story begins with him trying to locate his birth father, William. He successfully finds him, and brings him back home to his wife, Beth, and their two daughters. This creates all sorts of tension, as Randall tries to keep his dad’s identity a secret from his daughters, and keep Beth from freaking out. This then all goes out the window when Randall gets a surprise visit from his mom, Rebecca, and her new (but like, HOW new?) husband, Miguel.

Randall realizes the only thing he can do is confess to his mother that he sought out his birth father, knowing that in doing so it’ll completely wreck her. Rebecca is upset, but not like THAT upset. She then asks to speak to William alone…

In flashbacks, we learn Rebecca spotted William hanging around outside the hospital as she was leaving with the “Big Three” and ended up tracking him down. Rebecca is having a hard time connecting with “Kyle” (Randall’s name at the time), because he’s not one of the twins, and she’s at wit’s end. It’s William who suggests that “Kyle” needs his own, non-K, non-twin name: how about Randall, after his favorite poet, Dudley Randall?

Before she leaves, William asks if he can check in on Randall from time to time, and Rebecca gives him a hard NO. But in the future, it sure seems like they’ve run into one another a few times here and there.

Rebecca also realizes that if Randall finds out that she’s kept him from his birth father for 36 years, it’s going to destroy him. Rebecca and William agree to keep their arrangement a secret, but now that William is finally in Randall’s life, HOW long will it actually stay a secret?