Supposedly tonight there’s going to be a ~big twist~ on American Horror Story: Roanoke. Supposedly, the entire season is going to change, and do a completely 180° and it’ll have us going “Whaaat! So cool! OMG!” Or, at least that’s what Ryan Murphy hopes.
Honestly, whatever this surprise is, it’ll probably be good. Knowing what kind of surprise AHS has doled out on us before, whatever’s happening with AHS is sure to be a doozy. And listen, I’m all for surprises (of the television variety). But knowing that there’s a ~twist~ coming it probably means a lot of things about “My Roanoke Nightmare” will be abandoned, and I’m not cool with that. I’ve still got a plethora of questions I need answered in regards to AHS Season 6, and with this ~twist~ they’ll probably never be answered.
I’ve collected all my questions here, so you can wonder about them, too:
1. Lol remember during the first episode when the ground was breathing? Why, how, huh, and WHAT?
2. How is the Murde House so BIG but yet only has THREE BEDROOMS?
3. And how many baths does the house have? We’ve only ever see one bathroom. It’s got to have at least one half bath.
4. Remember how Matt started off with a job? Yeah, what happened to that?
5. Speaking of jobs, what are Lee and Shelby doing for work?
6. Are we just *never* going to discuss the falling teeth? The falling teeth that turned out to be the *big thing* teased during the AHS promotional campaign? Never going to talk about this ever again, huh?
7. Who attacked Shelby that first night in the hot tub?
8. AND WHO BUILT THAT HOT TUB? WHO?
9. Why did the basement of the Murde House just come with all that random stuff? Did no one go through the house and clean it out? Are we really supposed to assumed that it was sold “as is”?
10. Remember that one time Shelby and Lee were locked in the basement and when they came out all those creepy things were hanging in the house? Yeah, how did those get there, and how did they get there so fast?
11. Follow up question, what the hell? You realize these things have never been explained.
12. Why was Priscilla like, ~evil~ during the first episode of the season, but then by Episode 3 she was ~fine~?
13. Does the show take place in 2014, yes or no?
14. Why was The Butcher wandering around aimlessly during the first episode? Knowing who she is now that seems…odd.
15. What happened during those four hours Lee was missing the night Mason died?
16. WHO killed Mason?
17. WHY did they kill Mason?
18. What did they ever do about the wallpaper they ripped off the wall to reveal M-U-R-D-E because you cannot sell a house with an accent wall like that.
19. And why were the letters then so weird in every other picture?
20. How did Cricket manage to call an Uber in the middle of nowhere Roanoke?
21. Lol are we just going to pretend that Ryan Murphy hasn’t rewritten American history with this story?
22. Who. Is. The. Pig. Man??
23. Why was the Pig Man sacraficed…you know, lit on fire, but then like seemingly fine the next second because he may or may not be a ghost?
24. Who was that creepy person spying on Matt and Shelby when they first moved into the Murde House? Was it the Pig Man?
25. Why don’t the police officers in Roanoke care at all?
26. Why did it take so long for Edward Mott to show himself?
27. WHO was terrorizing Edward Mott? Who slashed his paintings?
28. Why was Evan Peters credited as being in Episodes 1-4, even though he didn’t actually show up until Episode 5? #Rude.
29. What hospital did Shelby go to after her leg was cut, and didn’t the hospital staff ask questions like “hey guys, what just happened to you? Why does it look like you all just saw MURDEROUS GHOSTS?”
30. How did “My Roanoke Nightmare” even track down that Uber driver? Doubtful Uber was like “yes, we will release that confidential driver information, yes.”
31. Why did the cameras keep rolling on Lee even though she told them to turn them off?
32. How many days did it take to film “My Roanoke Nightmare?” Because Shelby and Matt have changed outfits five different times!!
33. What network does “My Roanoke Nightmare” air? And on what time? Can you catch up with episodes on Hulu?