Chapter Forty-Eight
Credit: CW

First of all, I’ve got to get this out of the way: I live in Los Angeles, where apartments are (a) impossible to find (b) snatched up seconds after they are available (c) cost an arm and a leg and (d) are tiny and/or hideous. Seriously. If you live in an aesthetically pleasing apartment and pay a reasonable amount for rent in this city, you’re… you’re just LYING, okay?

So I was already brewing a pretty gnarly resentment as Jane and Michael looked at adorable houses in their price range. But then they landed on that adorable house that, as we learned in tonight’s episode of Jane the Virgin, is supposedly OUT of their price range, and listen, not to be an obsessive freak, but… it’s just… probably not?

A quick google search tells you that, on average, police officer recruits in training make around $30,000 per year. Michael is a detective, and also according to a quick google search, would make on average $60,000 per year. Let’s split the diff and say Michael makes $45,000 per year.

A janky internet tax calculator says Michael’s take home pay, based on the above would be like $2700 per month. According to the Boston Globe, childcare for Matteo would run $690 a month, which leaves Michael at $2010. He doesn’t seem to have student loans, but let’s give him a $200 car payment. $70 for car insurance. $80 for his cellphone plan. He’s now at $1490. Let’s do totally arbitrary numbers of $300 for groceries for the fam ($1190), $60 for television and internet ($1130), $100 for gas ($1030)… and, yeah.

Even if we’re assuming Michael’s making less than he reasonably should, he could still almost pay half of the rent himself while covering most of their family’s expenses.

In order to agree that Michael and Jane can’t afford their $2000 rent, we have to believe that Jane makes like… almost nothing, even though she’s working quite frequently.

This made me flashback to high school graduation budget projects where we had to make up arbitrary budgets to show we could function in the adult world (I complained to my teacher that everybody got the same salary, and that teacher told me it wasn’t fair to the kids who wouldn’t go on to make very much to have nothing to work with for the project, even if I had expectations of making more. Joke’s on YOU, Mister, I went on to be a writer and live on free office food.)

But really. I’m sorry Jane. I’m sorry Michael. I love you crazy kids, and maybe moving still IS the right decision, but I still think you need to reexamine your budget.