In Defense of Shower Singing
“STOP SINGING IN THE SHOWER!!” can often be heard angrily bellowing through the bathroom door. But I’m too busy performing a concerto of cleanliness to hear the pleas of my siblings, my parents or my neighbors, for that matter, to hear their cries.
The truth of the matter, is that nobody appreciates a good conditioner-bottle concert anymore. And why should they? The only reason I sing in the shower in the first place is because I know I’m not quite good enough to be able to sing publicly, so instead I take my talents to the tub. All the shower’s a stage, or something like that.
When it comes down to it, shower-time is me-time: a time where I can be anyone I want to be, and I choose to be a rock star. Under the steaming water, I can be Janis Joplin. I can be Norah Jones. I can be Billie Holiday, Christina Aguilera, Beyoncé, Sarah McLachlin, and all before I finish rinsing the shampoo out of my hair. I’m the only one around (or so I think until I have a hoard of angry patrons/parents banging down the door and demanding a refund for the concert I just subjected them to) so why not let my true talent shine? “Talent,” in this situation, meaning “my sub-par singing voice, which was good enough to hold up in a concert choir, but also bad enough to make it onto one of the audition-round episodes of American Idol as one of the awful ones to laugh at. Plus, the walls of my bathtub provide amazing acoustics for my shower-time serenade, so there’s no justification in stopping me from performing for my biggest fan (me).
If you don’t like my singing, then you know where the door is (no, literally – you’re probably facing it while you yell at me to stop.) I didn’t tell you to hover in the hallway while I was showering; if you don’t like it, then go somewhere else in the house. Or turn the volume up on the TV. Or go for a walk. Also, you can’t tell me that you’ve never sung in the shower. C’mon, don’t lie to me; I know you have! Just let me have my me-time, alright?
So, although it may annoy your entire neighborhood whenever you belt out a tune in the shower, I say SING! Grab that bottle of body wash and belt it out, girl. Sing like you think no one’s listening (because to your knowledge, they’re not!) Sing to your heart’s content (or at least until you run out of cold water), and never let the man (or your roommates) bring you down.
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