Veronica Mars, Buffy Summers, Lisbeth Salander, Helena Bonham Carter, Buttercup – teach me your ways oh great ones.
So it’s not really normal for me to go around calling anyone badass, nor is it customary for me to refer to women as chicks, but there are some special cases where calling someone a rockin’ lady just isn’t going to cut it. It takes a certain brand of female to earn this title though; they have to be fearless, at least a little rough around the edges, and able to combat their enemies with not only their fists but also a witty, sardonic remark or two. You are all picturing someone right now, I’m sure of it. Maybe it’s Hermione Granger when she punched Malfoy in the face. Possibly it’s Katniss shooting an arrow into the gamemakers’ feast. Or maybe it’s Xena Warrior Princess… being Xena Warrior Princess. Here are the badass chicks that I automatically think of, and what makes me want to live in their butt-kicking boots (badass chicks wear boots, duh).
Veronica Mars: While writing this I Googled “badass women in pop culture” and Baby V was nowhere to be found on any of those lists. I was enraged. Did no one watch her confront possible murderers, thieves, and brooding ex-boyfriends countless times without giving it a seconds’ hesitation? Oh right, no one did, that’s why it got cancelled. How many near death situations did she find herself in over the span of three years? A lot. And how many times did she die? None. That’s a pretty good ratio. Her crime-solving skills and proclivity for sarcasm are equal in their amount of awesomeness. No crazy Neptune-ite got away without a quick shot from her taser, and something along the lines of, “It’s all fun and games till one of you gets my foot up your ass.”
*Bonuses to becoming Veronica Mars: Keith Mars, one of the greatest fathers on television, would be my dad. Wallace, rivaling Ron Weasley for most loyal sidekick, would be my best friend. Duncan. Logan. Piz. ‘Nuff said.
Buffy Summers: I am absolutely on the side of those who kill the vampires rather than have their creepy demon spawn. Angel is a different story, okay? So maybe Buffy’s life wouldn’t be the easiest or most pleasant, but we all have to live through struggles right? Buffy is not going to take crap from any demon, not even dying will get in her way. All she needs is a little piece of wood and she’s ready to take down anything that springs up from the underworld. Buffy and Co. were faced with unimaginable monsters and high school at the same time, and they conquered it all. That is what I want. Mainly I just want to learn how she does that super annoyed face she gets when a demon pops up at an inconvenient time. And then I want to learn how she defeats them with a few roundhouse kicks.
*Bonuses to being Buffy: Willow! Giles! Xander! The best team a vampire slayer could ask for.
Lisbeth Salander: She may be small and she might be a little but crazy, but she is also probably smarter than anyone I know. She doesn’t speak much and she certainly isn’t what I would call warm and welcoming but those who call her a friend would never be let down by her. To her there is right and wrong and the color grey doesn’t exist. I really just think she’s so cool and would probably hate me if I ever met her (yes, I realize she’s fictional) because I would absolutely fangirl it up. I want her determination and courage. Plus, she is all about the girl power, and as an avid Spice Girls fan, I am also.
*Bonuses of being Lisbeth: Photographic memory? Yes please. Not caring at all what anyone thinks of me? Awesome. The Man would totally not be able to bring me down.
Helena Bonham Carter: This is a real person, and I know that she doesn’t go around fighting crime or other people in everyday life. To me HBC is the epitome of madness; she is nuts but in the most splendid way possible. I would love to be that crazy and then be applauded for it. I like to imagine her and Tim Burton’s home as a mix of Wonderland, 19th century England, and Hogwarts, which is also coincidentally how I imagine my dream home. Pretty much I just want to be able to go out wearing different colored shoes and not be reprimanded for it.
*Bonuses of being HBC: I would be the star of every Tim Burton film. I would get to costar with the likes of Johnny Depp, Colin firth, Voldemort, Russel Crowe, Anne Hathaway. And I would have a cool accent.
Buttercup: That’s right, the baddest of all, a Powerpuff Girl. She’s not blubbery like Bubbles or bossy like Blossom, she is without a doubt the toughest pre-schooler you’ll ever know. Maybe she has a few anger management issues to sort out, but I think we can blame that on the Chemical X. There’s not much else I can say to convey my love for the green-eyed gal, so I’ll just leave it with this- “Buttercup. She is the toughest fighter; Powerpuff save the day!”
*Bonuses of being Buttercup: I could probably get away with anything in Townsville as long as I keep saving the mayor. I would get to relive childhood! Forever! Also, I could finally get rid of the creepiest villain ever, Him.
You can read more from Catherine Britt on her blog.
Feature image via Fan Pop.